Forbidden
by LoVeDoNtHaTe
Summary: He had closed his eyes, his jaw set, and he opened them, his angry grey eyes meeting hers. "War changes people, Granger. It changes them into people they never dreamed they could be.”...Dramione. J.K. Rowling rules all! R
1. Chapter 1

It was forbidden. It always was. From the beginning of time, from my first step into the Wizarding world, from the first insult to the last embrace, it was forbidden. Hidden words of endearment, secret meetings in broom closets and deserted places, stolen kisses when no one was around, flirting in code through letters at work, all of it, forbidden.

We were enemies from the beginning, enemies till the end, but somehow, somewhere along the road, we surpassed the enemy lines and ended up in a world where nothing mattered. Blood didn't matter, social status didn't matter, money didn't matter, none of it mattered. It was just him and me, a man and a woman. And that was all we needed.

I wrote in my diary of our moments, kept entries of our love, kept the memos we sent in secret, the words on the parchment burned in my mind, and tears staining the ink and making it run. I clutch them to my chest and read what I can, but it was in the past. I don't know where to go from here, without him near. I'm lost forever, it seems, without him.

_Memoir of love in my diary kept,_

_Old love letters, stained in tears I have wept_

_Tell of our torrid love affair, was it sin?_

Questions run through my mind as I look at these letters, smoothing them out for a thirty-seventh read, looking for hidden messages still. So pitiful, I am, to be left like this. I used to be so independent, so sure of myself. But now I am broken and lost, confused and hurt, fallen and unable to get up. I go to work, but I don't receive his letters, and I miss the anticipation I used to feel and the thrill of reading the code that we created together in secret. When I am home, I reread his lovable penmanship and read each and every letter over and over again. Those memories just seem to haunt me. My life has stopped moving without him.

_Two burning souls, with flame's passion within_

_Beneath sweet Magnolia tree's scented bouquet_

_Wrapped in love's rapture, we spent summer day. _

_Nightfall kept promise, bestowing full moon,_

_Pure passionate moments ended too soon,_

_Then, dawn came with reality's harsh call_

_Awaken in his arms, not yours at all._

I want more. I cannot stand being this way. I want him, I need him, I love him. There is no one who can take his place. I remember how it began, and is this how it will end? No, there must be more than just this. I am bound to him, and I know he is bound to me. We lasted for months with no one knowing, our love letters being sent all the while in secret. But first, let's start from the beginning, from where our passionate, forbidden love began to blossom into something neither of us could ever fathom…

_Passion pays dearly, wrapped in crimson chains_

_Our love forbidden, when others lay claim_

_Still old love letters, burn with each line _

_Memoirs of love, show your passion was mine. _

* * *

**Author's Note: This poem was written by Fran Marie, and it's called Crimson Chains. If you want to read more of her poems, go to writerscafe. org and search for Fran Marie. Some of her work is absolutely brilliant! Please review! So sorry it took me so long to finally create another story! I hope you enjoy! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	2. Chapter 2

There was a soft crunch of leaves as a pair of feet stepped quietly through them. An owl hooted, and Hermione spun around, a bit frightened. To be in the Forbidden Forest all by herself was a very courageous feat to brag about, but actually being there now was frightening. She knew werewolves could probably smell her out, and trolls, centaurs, vampires, and many more frightening creatures could attack her at any minute, and she wouldn't even know it till it was too late.

Hermione held her wand at the ready, her heart beating erratically in fear. 'Gryffindor courage,' she thought to herself now. Hermione tried to calm herself. Why did she have to open her big mouth and volunteer for this job? Attempting to find the spy for the Dark Lord in the Forbidden Forest was absolutely dangerous and very brave. Unfortunately, Hermione had always thought of herself as the one to take challenges and to spit in the face of fear, until she actually met it. Now, she was quaking and as she began to let her mind ponder on it more, her heart sped up once again and she gulped.

The owl hooted again. She looked around, then decided she would sit in a tree and wait. It was much too dangerous just to walk around aimlessly lest she be a perfectly vulnerable target. Hermione looked up at a tall oak, then levitated herself up to the second branch. It was several feet off the ground, but if she was to jump from her position and onto another wizard or witch, she would remain unhurt. There Hermione sat, waiting, her heart beat slowing to her normal rate, and she kept still.

Suddenly, a movement in the corner of her eyes caught her attention. A large figure cloaked in all black blended well in the dark, but Hermione's keen eyes saw the person's silhouette. She reached for her wand, but in her own clumsiness, it fell out of the tree and down onto a pile of leaves, making a loud crunching noise next to the intruder. The person stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly, the person looked up into her tree. Without waiting for the wizard or witch to pull out his wand, she leapt from her branch and landed on her target.

They tussled for a bit, Hermione too distracted to reach for her wand, and the person too distracted to pull out his own. Finally, Hermione, defenseless without her wand, was pinned to the ground by the large person. His legs were on either side of her and he sat on her stomach, his arms pinning her own down spread out on either side of her head. Both were panting, and Hermione scowled.

"You're the spy, aren't you? The spy for the Dark Lord! Show yourself!"

"Like I'd show a filthy Mud-blood," came the slow reply, and Hermione spit in his face. That was clearly the wrong decision. The person let go of one wrist to slap her face, and Hermione gasped. "Where's your wand now, Granger? Not so powerful that you don't have your books and your wand at the ready, eh?"

"Let go of me and show me your face like a real wizard!"

"Conversing with you is a bore."

"My, you sound too much like Draco Malfoy!"

"Malfoy? He works for Dumbledore's side, doesn't he?"

Hermione's eyes widened at what she had just uttered. "H-he used to always say and do nasty things to me back at school. Of course he doesn't work for him! If he did, he'd be in Azkaban right about now!"

The cloaked person laughed. "I must admit, though, I wouldn't be surprised if he was a spy. He seems to have a soft side for Mud-bloods and Muggles everywhere."

"Oh Merlin, I don't even want to know this!"

Hermione began to try and wiggle her body out of his grip, when he suddenly groaned loudly, and she froze. She just began to feel something poking into her stomach. Disgusted by the now aroused and clearly male person, she turned to face her wand, hidden in the disheveled leaves. She concentrated very hard on a non-verbal spell to call her wand back, and in a few seconds, she was successful.

"Stupefy!" she yelled pointing it at him, and he flew back a few feet, unconscious. Hermione stood, tired out and disgusted, and she quickly tied him up with another spell. She pulled off his mask, revealing his chubby face, then pulled out a coin on a string out of her pocket and wrapped it tightly around his thick wrist.

"Portus," she whispered, and the coin glowed. "Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London," she muttered, they transported back to Headquarters.

Surprisingly, only a few people were there. And even more surprisingly, Malfoy was there as well. Everyone stared at her in awe and in concern. Hermione currently looked awful. She had leaves and twigs in her disheveled hair, her clothes rumpled and dirty, her shoes missing, and her face cut and bruised.

"My dear, you look absolutely terrible!" Mrs. Weasley cried, and began fixing her up. Hermione smiled tiredly. "No, I'm all right," she said with a smile, but did not refuse the medical care.

"I'm so glad you came back safe, Hermione," Ron said with a relieved smile, and Harry nodded in agreement.

"And you even brought back a prize," he added with a laugh. She looked back down at the large being down next to her, and rolled her eyes.

"We got into a tussle, and he pinned me down. But I got my wand back and got him."

"Well done, Granger. The first right thing you've actually done in the field," Malfoy called from his corner of the dining room. Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"Okay, whatever. Anyway, we should dispose of him soon before he wakes up and alerts someone."

"Are you proposing we kill him?" Malfoy's drawl came once again, and Hermione felt her temper rise slowly.

"Did I say that, Malfoy?" she snapped.

Draco pushed off the wall and walked towards her till he was standing right in front of her. "Well, when you say to dispose of a person, one usually infers that you want to kill him."

"Well, Malfoy, _one_ should attempt to listen better and to stop inferring things that isn't even one's business!"

"Granger, you really should be a bit kinder to the spy for the Order. I'm risking my bloody life here. I really could just go back to the Dark Lord and tell him this whole conversation right now."

"Sorry to burst your egotistical bubble, Malfoy, but I think he's already got his suspicions, thanks to Goyle here."

"Are you serious, Hermione?" Harry asked this time, concern etched on his face. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"No. I'm not sure at all, but Goyle surely did have his own suspicions."

"The bastard," Draco muttered.

Harry then turned to Draco, concern still on his face. "Be careful, Malfoy. Especially in your actions and words."

"I know, Potter. I'm not stupid."

"Well then don't act like it!" Ron said with a growl, and Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"I know, Weasley. I know. It's my bloody life on the line here just as well as yours."

"Good. I'm glad you finally saw the light," Hermione retorted, and Malfoy smirked.

"That sounds like a pun, doesn't it?"

She just rolled her eyes.

"Dinner!" Molly called out, and the small group traveled over at Mrs. Weasley's call.

* * *

Later into the evening, Hermione sat next to Malfoy at the kitchen table, much to her disdain. The two, along with Harry and Arthur Weasley, were currently going over the maps, messages, and codes they had found in Goyle's cloak. It was quiet as they all worked on different parts of the puzzle, and Hermione's brows furrowed in concentration at a map she was currently attempting to read. Goyle really did not have the best handwriting. Actually, he had the worst she had ever seen!

"Goyle has terrible handwriting. He always has," Malfoy muttered in a frustrated tone.

"Thank you for stating the obvious," Hermione said without taking her eyes off the paper.

"You're welcome."

"Shut up. I'm trying to think!"

"Make me."

Hermione whipped her head around to glare at Malfoy who raised a brow at her in a challenge. Hermione just rolled her eyes and went back to the map. Harry and Mr. Weasley regarded the two curiously.

"My gosh, Malfoy, you don't tell us anything! Goyle has given us more information than you ever have!" Hermione suddenly stated after half an hour of looking through the papers.

"Well, it's not like I can do anything about it."

Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at the lad.

"Are you keeping something from us, Malfoy?"

Draco looked positively livid.

"Do you not trust me? I give you so much information already, why would I keep anything to myself?"

"Why not?"

"Do I have to answer a stupid question like that?!" Draco yelled, standing in his ire. Hermione stood as well, his sharp tone infuriating her.

"Then why can't you tell us more?!" she yelled back.

"I can't just bloody well go up to the Dark Lord and say, oh can you tell me your plan, because, you know, I'm going to report back to the Order every single bloody word you fucking say!"

"I don't trust you, Malfoy!"

"I know you don't! No one in this bloody place does! I'm a Death eater!" Draco pulled his sleeve back for emphasis. The Dark Mark stood out bright and clear on the underside of his right forearm. "Does that help? Does my origin, this mark on my arm, and the fact that I wear a large black cloak and a mask and go kill Muggles for fun prove anything to you? Does that make me a worse person?! I'm trying to help you end the fucking war! I'm giving you all the bloody information I have!"

"Then how does _Goyle_, a big fat _idiotic_ wizard, have more information than you do?!"

"We have different ranks, Granger. You have _never_ been to the Dark Lord's quarters! You don't know how everything there works! Just be glad that I can remember everything he tells us in order to tell you! You should be so much more grateful than you are!" Draco shouted. He then closed his eyes and took in deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down.

"Oh, seems like we got a little touchy there, didn't we?"

"Will you two shut up?!" Harry exclaimed, "We have bigger problems, like a war out there! It seems like Volde—"

"Harry! He has a taboo on his name, remember? You don't want to get into a sticky situation again," Arthur said with a frown. Harry nodded.

"Sorry, Mr. Weasley. I mean the Dark Lord, was planning a secret attack that is only made up of sixteen people, not including himself. We've already got all the Horcruxes. Maybe we can finally kill Volde—the Dark Lord there!" Mr. Weasley nodded in agreement.

"It's our best chance, you know. Let's round up troops and head out!"

"What day?" asked Malfoy bitterly.

"In five weeks."

"It's a bit far away," Malfoy said with a frown.

"Yes, it is. A bit out of character for the Dark Lord, isn't it?"

"Very unlikely. I think the Dark Lord sent Goyle out just as a decoy. The real spy is somewhere here among us."

"Is it you, Malfoy?" Hermione asked with her brows raised.

"Stop blaming me! Merlin!" Draco said exasperatedly, and ran a hand through his white-blonde hair.

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic," she retorted, and frowned at the papers she held. "We need to find out who the spy is and rid of him."

"Kill him, she means," Draco said with a glare at her, and she glared back.

"I _mean_ ship him off to Azkaban!"

"Will you two _please_ stop acting like children!" Harry said with a glare at the both of them. "You two fight as if the whole world was all right and you have nothing better to do!"

"Then stop partnering us up!" Hermione said hotly.

"Well, there's no other people good enough. You have the brains and Malfoy is the spy! If he gets a coded message or something, you're the one he has to go to, to figure it out!"

"Harry's right," Arthur said with a nod. "You're thinking like a true leader, my boy!" He smiled and pat Harry's back.

"Thank you. Now come along, we've got to start. Malfoy, I think it be best if you go back now. I'm sure your Dark Lord is just waiting to fill your brain with all his super secret plans."

"Oh shut it. I'm leaving. Bye, everyone. And Granger, thank you so much for your hospitality. I always feel so welcome in your presence," he added sarcastically, and he smirked at her and Apparated away.

"Ooh, that bloke makes me want to strangle him!" she snapped, her eyes still boring in the place he had been a second ago, and Harry rolled his eyes.

"He is vital to our victory, Hermione. Get over yourself and just ignore it. Come on, we've got to start formulating our plan."

Hermione huffed.

"You go along, Harry. I'll stack up all the papers and things together."

Harry nodded and he left. Arthur stayed back and hesitated, then looked at her with his fatherly gaze.

"Hermione, you really must try to be nicer to Draco Malfoy. He's fueling us with enough information to keep us at least one step ahead of the Dark Lord."

Hermione frowned at the papers she held.

"Yes, but he needs to stop being such a prat."

"Look past that and just work as partners. There doesn't have to even be a relationship of any sort. Just try and work it out. You're extremely smart, Hermione. I know you can think of ways to act civil to him. But be careful around him. He's not totally trustworthy at this point," Arthur said in a warning tone.

He nodded at her, turned, and walked out. Hermione sighed after the door closed.

"I wouldn't trust Draco Malfoy with anything," she muttered and stacked the papers together before following Arthur out.

* * *

"Today is a good day! We've found news that even our spy couldn't get us! Thanks to Hermione here, who captured a Death eater close to the Dark Lord, we've got news of the Dark Lord's next attack!" Harry said to the members of the Order and Dumbledore's Army.

"Brilliant!" Terry Boot uttered loudly. A chorus of voices agreed with him, and Hermione smiled widely.

"Quiet down, everyone," Arthur said over everyone. "Let Harry speak."

"Thank you. Well, we now need to group up and make a strategic plan in order to make this the last and final battle."

"Here, here!" George Weasley crowed, then sighed when he realised his twin wasn't there to crow along with him. A chorus filled in for the missing voice.

"Good! Now, gather 'round, everyone, and come look at these maps."

The dozens of people attempted to crowd around a small table.

"It would help if M--our spy were here now to tell us where the heck some of these places are," Ron muttered miserably.

"We don't really need him, Ron," Hermione said and pat his back. "We'll survive without him with us every second of the day."

"Very true," he agreed, and Hermione smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

"Six weeks. That's a bloody long time," Seamus Finnigan said in his rich Irish accent.

"Language, Mr. Finnigan," Molly said as she passed.

"I swear, your mum reminds me a lot of McGonagall, the way she seems to just creep up on me when I'm cursing."

Ron laughed.

"I agree. You get used to it, though. She used to do that all the time, living with Fred and George…" Ron's face suddenly fell.

"Don't think about it too much, Ron. We all miss him," Hermione said softly and pat his shoulder.

"Yeah," Ron said, looking melancholy. "I'll see you later."

Ron slowly walked away, his head down.

"Poor Ron. After Fred…past on, the whole Weasley family's been having a hard time," Hermione said, feeling her eyes well up with tears. "I guess you'd have to count me too."

"Everyone misses him," Seamus said, mentally sending his condolences to Ron.

"Yeah. Well, we just need to buck up and get ourselves moving again. Come on, Seamus, let's go work on those codes."

"Right-o, Hermione," he said and smiled. Hermione smiled back and led the way to the kitchen.

* * *

"Hermione, let go!" Harry yelled. Hermione shook her head hard, her hair matted down to her sweating skin.

"I can't! I won't leave him!" she shouted back. Tears poured out of her eyes. The war was raging on around her, and spells were being shot everywhere. She was on the verge of escaping, and on the verge of inevitable death. She just had to choose.

"Granger, let go. Save yourself! I've already been marked. You heard Goyle. They had their suspicions about me already. Just go!" Malfoy yelled, trying to release her vice-like grip from his arm.

"NO! We won't sacrifice an individual for the good of the group! If you go down, you're taking me with you! I love you Draco!" Hermione cried, and leapt into his arms. Fred Weasley suddenly appeared in Harry's place.

"No, Hermione! Don't go! IT'S A TRAP!" he yelled.

Hermione woke up in a cold sweat, flushed and panting. "Good Merlin, dreams like that will drive me mad in no time," she said, and threw her sheets off her, put on her robe, and walked to the bathroom. She washed her warm face in the cool water, and sighed. She walked down to the kitchen to grab a butterbeer to drink. She warmed it up quickly, and sat at the kitchen table, drinking it slowly and savoring its tasteful warmth.

Hermione sighed and subconsciously touched her wand in her pyjama pocket. A figure suddenly materialised into the kitchen, making her jump and drop her mug. It clattered to the floor noisily.

"Good Merlin! Who are you?" she asked, clutching her chest. The little house elf looked at her with its big, round blue eyes and wrung its tea towel in nervousness.

"County carries a message from Master Malfoy. Tells County it is a secret mission that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named must not know. Master Malfoy goes to mission with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for one week at most. He says maybe more."

"Where is he going?"

"Cannot say or Master Malfoy be killed!" the house elf squeaked, and pulled her long ears down to cover her big eyes. Hermione's eyes widened.

"Well, ok. Thank you so much for telling me. You're very brave, County to deliver such an important message. Are you Malfoy's secret house elf or something?" Hermione asked. County raised her ears a bit, and smiled broadly.

"County is Master Malfoy's only house elf he is allowed to keep. Oh. Master Malfoy has note for Miss too."

The little house elf reached into her lone pocket and pulled out a folded piece of parchment and gave it to Hermione. She opened it hastily.

_Obliviate her. I don't want HIM to know about this. I'm afraid she might tell if questioned. She is not totally mine. Can you get a Porkey as well? Make sure it is very discreet. Burn all evidence. _

Hermione made sure that her face didn't betray her feelings. Obliviate the poor house elf? Brilliant. Did she have to do _everything_?

Hermione put the note into her pyjama pocket and smiled at County while taking her wand discreetly out of her pocket.

"Thank you so much for your help, County! Hold on a moment. I need to give you something," she said with a smile. County beamed and stood there, holding onto the ends of her tea towel and swaying back and forth, with simple happiness.

Hermione, meanwhile, was digging through the kitchen for something to give to County. Anything could be a Portkey! Finally, Hermione opened a cabinet and saw the perfect thing in the sparse amount of things that were in there. Food!

She pulled out a cracker out of a package and closed the cabinet. She turned to County and smiled. "Here, I know it's not much, but please, I want you to eat it." Thankfully, the Portkey would only activate once, so if County did eat the cracker, she wouldn't go travel all over the place.

County beamed again and took it thankfully. "Miss so very nice!" she exclaimed, and opened her mouth to eat it, when Hermione took out her wand, cursing Malfoy for giving _her_ the job to obliviate the poor house elf.

"Stupefy!" Hermione cried, and the poor house elf went out cold on the floor. She looked sadly at the pitiful little house elf, and tapped County's unconscious head. "Obliviate," she murmured. "Ennervate."

County's eyes slowly fluttered open as Hermione made haste to quickly make the fallen cracker a Portkey, then put her wand away. County's big blue eyes blinked up at her. "Who are you?" she asked, frightened.

"I was just giving you a cracker when you fainted! Here, take your cracker."

County blinked rapidly at the cracker, then took it hesitantly. As soon as County grabbed it, she disappeared. Hermione sighed in relief, then raced up the stairs to Harry's bedroom.

"Wake up, Harry! Wake up!"

"What? Why are you waking me up so early? Is something wrong?" he asked as he sat up, reaching for his glasses.

"Malfoy's house elf just came into the kitchen just a while ago."

Harry bolted up onto his feet.

"Why? What did he say?"

"Malfoy is going on a mission for the Dark Lord, and the house elf couldn't say where."

"Damnit," Harry muttered bitterly.

"She said he wouldn't be back for a week or more. If it's more, we're in deep trouble."

"I'm sure we could last on Goyle's things."

"All right. Well, sorry for waking you."

"I'm glad you were awake to get the message! Well, goodnight again."

Harry got back into bed and Hermione walked out of the room.

"Oh, my butterbeer!" she suddenly remembered, and went down to the kitchen again. Her butterbeer was spilt on the floor, and in one swift motion, the warm liquid was gone and the mug was being washed in the sink.

"Good Merlin, I feel worn," she said wearily, and walked slowly back to her bedroom, not to come down till the morning.

* * *

"I don't know what to do," Harry said quietly.

Kingsley Shacklebolt shrugged.

"You'll just have to trust the Death eater. After all, he is fueling you with enough information to last. What I wouldn't do to stick my wand down his throat is beside me, but I don't because his information so far has all been true. Refrain from your suspicions as well, Harry, and everything will be fine, for now."

"Gracious, Kingsley, you are more detrimental than I thought!" McGonagall exclaimed quietly.

"Well, we are in a war, aren't we, Professor?"

"Quite right, Minerva," Arthur agreed, and McGonagall sighed.

"I suppose so."

"Well, I suppose that's all I have left to do, anyhow. Thank you for your advice, Kingsley."

Harry stood and left the dim conference room for the brighter and more welcoming kitchen. Molly was in there, watching the soup, the kettle on the stove, and the bread baking. When she noticed him, she smiled brightly as she always did.

"Why hello, Harry! Up and ready early as always! Go on and wake up the others for breakfast, will you?"

"Of course," Harry said, and complied. He walked up the stairs and woke up the sleeping members of the Order first, then of Dumbledore's Army. If they hadn't combined, there never would have been enough people, but it was a bloody pain in the arse to wake them all up every morning. Once the chore was done, Harry went back down, feeling a bit melancholy and depressed.

Everyone else was down there, eating already and drinking tea and butterbeers. Hermione talked amiably with two of the Weasley brothers, delighted in seeing almost the whole Weasley clan finally reunited. She laughed at George's joke and Ron spewed milk out of his nose in his joviality. That just made every laugh at him as he blushed and wiped away the milk; it was a very cheery morning.

Even nature seemed to seem brighter and happier that morn. It was sunny and warm with a slight breeze going along. Outside of 12 Grimmauld Place had Muggles walking along cheerfully, talking and laughing together. Thoughts of the war were far from anyone's mind, all except Harry's.

Harry went into a deep thought. He always had an intense, thoughtful expression on his face, and whenever someone spoke to him, he replied negatively or didn't hear them. He drifted up to his room when Ron, George, and Charlie Weasley invited him to play some Quidditch with them. After a while, Hermione grew worried, and went up to his room before high tea was served.

"Harry?" she asked and knocked on his door. There was no sound, so she pushed the door open.

"Harry?" she asked again. He was sitting on the bed, his chin on his hand, and he looked up, surprised to see her there.

"Oh, hello. I didn't even hear you come in."

"Harry, you've been acting very strangely this whole day. What's wrong?"

"Just thinking."

"Of what?" Hermione pushed on.

"Of Malfoy's mission. Of all of us. Of the whole war."

"Oh."

"I've got an idea of what his mission must be. Killing off Muggles, I bet."

"Or trying to find us," she added bitterly.

"Well, I trust that he's trustworthy, and I hope to Merlin that he'll stay loyal to us."

"You never know. He betrayed the Dark Lord. What makes it any different for us?"

"Good point."

It was silent for awhile, and Hermione suddenly stood.

"Well, Harry, I'm going down for tea. Are you coming?"

"I'll be down in a moment."

"All right."

Hermione went out and closed the door behind her, feeling concern for her long-time friend. 'Malfoy better not prove to be a traitor to the Order as well! Ooh, I'd hex him!'

* * *

**Author's Note: My last chapter got a whole whopping two reviews! Please review more! It makes me really happy to hear your opinion. Please revie****w! Thanks for reading! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	4. Chapter 4

Five weeks passed, and everyone thought of their spy everyday. After two weeks, Hermione had begun growing anxious and worried. After the third week, everyone joined her in her anxiety. The fourth and fifth week, and everyone talked everyday about what could have happened to him. It became something of a debate at the dinner table.

"I bet he's gone into hiding," Angelina Johnson said with a scowl.

"I bet he's killed!" Seamus said with a grimace. His best mate, Dean Thomas, had to agree.

"I think he's changed again over to the dark side," Ron bellowed with his mouth full. Hermione, Harry, and most of the adults just stayed quiet in thought.

One day, the original trio went out, just for a walk down the streets outside of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. It was a very humid and warm for the beginning of autumn, yet sporadically rained every once in a while. In London, one could never predict the weather very accurately. The three didn't talk for at all, just walked around, getting wet when it rained, wiping the sweat off their brow when it stopped, and observing the quiet scene around them.

When they finally got back to the headquarters, Hermione felt as if she had bonded more with Harry and Ron than she had ever talking nonsense with them. It was times like these that she felt most muddle-headed with nature.

Right when coming home, high tea was served, and she sat with few other members of the Order for some scones, and tea. It was unusually quiet, for everyone was lost in their own thoughts.

And soon, the rest of the afternoon passed and dinner came quickly. Hermione seemed to be drifting through time, and it was going by much too fast. Everyone was worried about the war, and she knew that with each day, Voldemort was raising up his army and planning against them even more, and everyday, the great and final war was going to begin. It was right then that she wished Dumbledore was still here to give her some of his ingenious, batty old wisdom.

* * *

Hermione woke up one afternoon after passing out from sheer exhaustion. She had been studying the maps and codes for hidden messages for 23 hours straight, and was extremely tuckered out. She heard a disturbance downstairs, and ventured out to see what the commotion was. When she reached the banister, she saw Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Molly, Arthur, Kingsley, and McGonagall downstairs questioning a beaten and worn out Malfoy. He, quite literally, looked half-dead.

His clothes looked like muck, his usually well-kept hair disheveled, his face weary, and body sagging from sheer exhaustion. He was saying something, and for some reason, Hermione had unknowingly been so riddled with anxiety and worry that she was more than overjoyed to see him, and she walked down the stairs, blinking through eyes filling with tears, pushed past her friends and acquaintances, threw her arms around Draco Malfoy's neck, and burst into tears of absolute relief.

Everyone around her was absolutely shocked. Hermione was too numb to really care. Malfoy surprisingly slung an arm around her shoulders instead of pushing her away, shocking their audience even more.

"Good to know _someone_ is happy to see me alive," he said, and Hermione sniffed.

"I'm actually very vexed to see you, Malfoy," she responded, and pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"Good to know," Malfoy repeated with a stoic expression, and Hermione quickly wiped her face and went back upstairs, avoiding everyone's gaze.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Ron hissed as soon as he entered Hermione's room.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, not even looking at him. She was leaning on the wall against her bed, reading notes and making her own notes in a little brown book.

"I mean that spectacle you just did down there! With Malfoy's return!"

"I don't know, Ron. I was just really relieved that he was alive."

"_Why_?!"

At that, Hermione snapped her book shut and turned to look at him, her eyes angry at his tone.

"Because, _Ron,_ he is really vital to our victory over the Dark Lord. He's the only one who can get into the Dark Lord's chambers unnoticed, and can bring us back information. If he had died, that could set us back a lot, and the Dark Lord could win this war instead!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry I asked!" Ron said and backed away. He went out and closed the door tightly behind him, and Hermione sighed. She had overreacted, but that little episode down there only a half-hour ago had shaken her a bit as well. Why in the world had she done that? It was probably just nerves.

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic!" Hermione chided herself stiffly. "Concentrate on your notes." She listened to herself, and went back to her work.

* * *

Late that night, Hermione went downstairs in the same pyjamas and robe for yet another butterbeer. She sighed as she drank it. Was she having problems sleeping, or something? Hermione sipped the warm butterbeer slowly, and sighed. The war surely was taking its toll on everyone. It was awful seeing Harry get paler everyday, and he seemed so depressed and in his own world all the time. It was depressing just looking at him now.

She sipped her butterbeer again, then gasped in surprise when someone Apparated into the kitchen.

"Malfoy!" she hissed. "What are you doing here!?"

"I was hoping you were here," he said briskly with a smirk. "I just wanted to know about that episode you played down here this afternoon. Made everyone look at you a bit differently, don't you think?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"That is utterly ridiculous. They all know I'd be the last one to really care if you lived or died if you weren't a spy for us." She took a swig from her mug and licked the remaining liquid away from her lips. Draco raised a brow at her.

"That warms my heart," he retorted, and Hermione scowled at him.

"Shut up. Why are you here in the middle of the night anyway? Shouldn't you be back in your quarters or something?"

"Quarters? Do you think I'm a prisoner? Good Merlin. Shouldn't _you_ be in bed?"

"I can't sleep."

"Well, neither can I. And you can't very well go wandering around with the Dark Lord lurking about."

"Can't he keep track of where you Apparate to?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, you must not know of a lot of things, then. I know we can keep track of where everyone Apparates to here."

"I don't Apparate just here, you know. I'm careful to go out to an empty field, and then come here from there. I'm not stupid."

"Really? And I thought that you were all this time…"

"Well, anyhow, I don't even know why I'm still talking to you. I should go." Draco turned to leave, when Hermione nonchalantly took another sip of her drink, before deciding to ask the question that she had been dying to ask since he had arrived.

"Malfoy," she said quietly. He turned around with a questioning look. "What did you really do on your mission?" At that question, Malfoy looked away from her and took a deep breath.

"Everyone has been asking me that since I've arrived. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Was it that bad?"

Malfoy took another deep breath, still avoiding her eyes.

"Yes, it was. Goodnight, Granger." He Disapparated, and Hermione drank the rest of her butterbeer and left the mug in the sink. Hermione reached for her wand in her pyjama pocket, then felt something foreign in there. She pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment, the same one County had given her five weeks before. Hermione frowned.

"I should have burned this," she murmured, and with a swish of her wand, it was incinerating in the rubbish bin. "Good riddance."

* * *

With Malfoy back, his presence always seemed to be around, even though he wasn't. Hermione felt that way, at least, especially when she was doing something bad. Once, when she was playing Gobstones with Ron instead of studying the maps some more, she felt so anxious and watched that she could no longer play and went to her room, her face and hair covered in goo.

So it didn't surprise her when she walked into the conference room and saw him sitting there with Harry, Arthur, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. What did surprise her was that they were meeting secretly without her and Ron.

"Sorry, am I intruding?" she asked quietly when they all turned to look at her. Harry looked at Kingsley, who opened his mouth, but Malfoy spoke first.

"Not at all. Come in, sit down."

Everyone turned to look at him, but he kept his grey gaze trained on Hermione. She, in turn, felt a bit like an intruder, but shut the door and pulled up a chair next to Harry anyway.

"As I was saying, I was wondering if any of you could be of assistance into getting us any more information of the next attack," Shacklebolt said.

"I'm not sure. I can't very well ask him myself. It all depends on his mood, really," Draco replied seriously.

"Well do what you can. Everyone here in this room, keep everything a secret. You can't forget about the spy that is still hiding within us," Harry spoke up.

"But hold on a moment. If there's a spy still among us, he must know most of our plans and he could bring the Dark Lord along any day to ambush us. Why doesn't he just walk in one day and do so?" Hermione asked.

"Well, the only way to really do that would be to find Grimmauld Place first, and you still need to perform the pass code. Only some of us know it, and even then, only a select few of us. Only the people we can trust, namely the people in here, including you, Miss Granger," Kingsley said.

"Then how did Malfoy here Apparate into the kitchen only a few nights ago? And how did his house elf Apparate there too?"

"The kitchen is left unattended to. There is a light ward on that place because no one except for Molly goes there much, and even then Molly can take care of herself," Arthur said. "No one except us in this conference room knows that, however. Molly knows it too, so she's always cautious whenever she goes into the kitchen, and she doesn't like anyone to go in there alone."

"I see," Hermione murmured, remembering how one afternoon long ago Molly had told her never to go into the kitchen unless she was in there because the kitchen was Molly's 'sacred haven from the chaos of the world'. It had only to protect her.

Hermione's eyes got a little misty with thankfulness for having a mother-figure with her all the time for protection.

"Well, Malfoy, try your best for more information, and we'll do what we can to find out more information as well. We expect the ambush in only a week's time. Find out what you can and get back to us."

Draco nodded. "Will do."

Kingsley stood first, and Draco followed suit. He nodded at Kingsley and went out the door, probably to go down to the kitchen. Kingsley sighed after Malfoy left.

"I still don't know what to think about that boy. I can say, however, that he knows well how to act in every situation."

"Maybe too well," Harry said suspiciously. Arthur and Harry stood as well and went towards the door along with Kingsley. Hermione stayed seated.

"You coming, 'mione?" Harry called. Hermione shook her head.

"I'll stay in here for a bit. I just wanted a bit of peace and quiet."

Harry nodded understandingly and closed the door behind him.

Hermione sat in the quiet, hearing nothing until the silence was beginning to sound like a faint buzzing.

* * *

**Author's Note: please review! it'll make my blessed day! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

The night before the expected attack at the Muggle neighborhood, Hermione tossed and turned, plagued by temporary sleeplessness. Finally, she got up and pulled on her warm black robe and walked downstairs to the cold kitchen. Surprisingly, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna were already down there conversing in low voices. When they saw her, they waved.

"Have a butterbeer," Ginny whispered, and Hermione took it gratefully.

"Mum's not going to be happy when she sees our stock of butterbeer gone," Ron said softly with a chuckle.

"Why are we all whispering?" Hermione had to ask.

"We don't want to wake the others," came Luna's simple reply. Hermione nodded, and Harry sighed.

"I hope tomorrow is a successful day for us. In only one battle, it could determine our victory or defeat."

Ginny sniffed, and Ron rubbed on her shoulder. "Don't cry, Gin," he said softly.

"I can't help it," she murmured, rubbing her eyes. "Just thinking that all we've worked so hard for could be gone in an instance with just one curse is just terrible. I could never bear losing any of you," Ginny cried softly, and Hermione felt tears come to her eyes.

"Don't…don't be ridiculous," Hermione said, but she began to cry with Ginny just the same. Luna sniffed.

"That can't happen. It won't happen," Luna said, her blue eyes sparkling with her constant mirth and sweet innocence. Ginny and Hermione smiled and giggled at her. She always had such a dreamy and innocent aura surrounding her. The three girls embraced, two of them crying for all their losses and for the losses that could befall them in just a few hours.

* * *

Hermione awoke shivering. It was freezing in her small bedroom, and she got out of bed feeling numb. Not just physically, however.

She met the others as she headed down the stairs to the kitchen, and they all silently went down.

No one spoke during breakfast, and afterwards, Arthur gathered them all into the sitting room.

"Now as you all know, we expect an attack today in London. The Dark Lord will attempt to take over London, and we will have to stop him. We cannot have him take over the Ministry. If we are outnumbered or if you hear someone yell for a retreat, immediately run to the Disapparition point and go to the Burrow. Everyone knows where that is, correct?"

The assemblage nodded, and Arthur sighed.

"Good. Now everyone has a good idea where the site is. If you do not know well where the location is, join another person for a side-along Apparition."

Almost everyone partnered up, and people began disappearing with a pop. Hermione felt Ron grab her arm, and she put her wand to her chest and imagined the neighborhood in London where she knew Voldemort was going to be. Immediately, she felt the uncomfortable squeezing sensation, and the sitting room disappeared. Scenes before her blurred past as she traveled along.

Her feet touched the ground quicker than she hoped, and Hermione she looked at Ron and took in a deep breath.

"Good luck," she murmured, he nodded at her, and squeezed her hand.

"You too, 'mione. Stay safe."

Hermione sniffed and squeezed his hand back and smiled at him before she began scrutinised her surroundings. She gave Ron a last smile before going to her position behind an empty house. Everyone had been evacuated ahead of time. It was only thanks to their spy that they could save those civilians.

In a few minutes of eerie silence, Death eaters began appearing earlier than the due time, noticeable with their black cloaks and masks. Voldemort appeared, surrounded by a group that Hermione took to be a part of his inner circle.

And the fight immediately began.

* * *

It was a rush of adrenaline Hermione felt as she shot her first several spells. She ran all around the neighborhood, dodging spells and stopping only when a Death eater was able to hit her with a curse. Someone set several houses ablaze with Fiendfyre, but Hermione had no time to be scared of the uncontrollable flames. There were a couple screams near the fire, and Hermione prayed that it wasn't someone she knew. Death just made her absolutely sick.

She was cursed several times, and had cuts and bruises she knew could be healed quickly. She shot back with several curses of her own, but none bad enough to really cause real bloodshed.

"CRUCIO!" a Death eater shouted at her, and Hermione screamed and dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. She focused all her energy on not losing control of her mind, and stood quickly, but shakily, once the pain disappeared. The Death eater tortured her again, and Hermione screamed. Sweat appeared on her face as the pain continued, and she closed her eyes to regain focus. It was very difficult.

The Death eater was now closer to her than before, and he pointed his wand at her to perform the same curse, when he was suddenly consumed by a bright flash of green light, and fell forward on top of her. Hermione's eyes widened, her face dirty from the dust and ash. She pushed the Death eater away from her and sat up. Draco was looking at her, standing there, his eyes wide, and he was staring at her. She could see him swallow thickly. Suddenly, he turned and ran off. Hermione ignored his strange action, then turned to the Death eater.

She raised a shaking hand and removed the Death eater's mask, revealing the wide-eyed, glassy gaze of a middle-aged man, someone who could have had children and a wife.

Hermione dropped the mask, feeling ready to vomit, but she had no time. Another curse came straight at her, and she dodged it quickly, using the man's body. She felt guilty, but this was war. There was no time for childish morals.

There were people falling all around her, and small duels were being fought, three Death eaters to one Order member. This was a lost battle. Hermione ran to one of the recently burned houses, and rushed to the side of it, panting from running so much and from the Cruciatus curse she had just endured.

She looked both ways constantly, looking for any Death eaters that might've spotted her, and she saw Ginny and Neville both run in together and join her in hiding. Ginny suddenly let out a sob, and Neville looked back out at the battlefield.

"How many casualties?" Hermione asked, panting still. Ginny was crying hard, and Neville wiped his dirty face with his ripped sleeve, leaving blood streaks.

"Luna…Luna…" he said mournfully, and Hermione's eyes widened.

"What?!" she asked franticly.

"Luna was tortured by several Death eaters at once numerous times, and went unconscious! She's could be dead! Or she could go just like Neville's parents!" Ginny cried, and Hermione felt as if her heart had just been ripped out and stomped on.

"Luna!" she screamed, and Neville's arm stopped her before she could rush back out into the bedlam of battle.

"Hermione! Focus on the task at hand! Get everyone safely out!" Neville choked out, wiping his eyes. Hermione let out a loud sob, then blinked many times, attempting to clear her vision.

"You're absolutely right. We have to get back. We've been outnumbered and there's no chance we could win this. We have to get back safe. And everyone else too." She wiped her eyes and looked past the corner of the broken and charred house. There were Death eaters and members of the Order and Dumbledore's Army, her friends, fighting. But she couldn't think of them like that at the moment. It would kill her.

Once she felt the coast was clear, she motioned for the others to follow her closely, then ran out, staying close to the charred house. The three yelled at the others to retreat. It was the only way to stay alive at this point.

Death eaters that did spot the trio sent curses at them, but each was successfully blocked or dodged. They finally reached the Apparition point, but before they could disappear, Hermione was hit with a curse, cutting her right cheekbone deeply. She cried out in pain, and Ginny grabbed her and Disapparated before any more damage could be done.

They arrived at the Burrow, and Hermione collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. Ginny soon joined her, and Neville stood back, his own tears falling silently down his face. Members of the Light side Apparated to the Burrow slowly, and it took nearly an hour and a half before mostly everyone had arrived. They were all filthy, and each had wounds, some more serious than others. Molly tried her best to heal everyone, and the ones with lighter wounds were able to heal themselves successfully.

Arthur finally had everyone sign a parchment to see who could be accounted for. When everyone in the room had signed, he picked it up and counted. His face turned grim, then melancholy, and he cleared his throat. Everyone fell silent.

"It seems—" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat again. No one found it amusing. "It seems," he started again, "that we are missing four people. Susan Bones, Lavender Brown, Justin Finch-Fletchey, and Luna Lovegood."

Hermione and Ginny choked up again, when someone suddenly Apparated into the room.

"Justin!" Katie Bell cried, and ran to him. He looked awful and was weakly carrying someone in his arms. Luna Lovegood.

"She's terrible! I couldn't…I couldn't take her to St. Mungos," he said desperately, and George, now fully healed, took her from him. Luna's face was dangerously pale, and she was filthy like everyone else, but blood made her usually pale blonde hair streaked with red.

"No place is safe with Snatchers everywhere and the Dark Lord ruling. We'll have to keep her here for now," Arthur said, and everyone made a pathway so George could take the unconscious witch to the couch.

Katie meanwhile kissed Justin's dirty cheek and healed his lighter wounds. He had a deep gash like Hermione, only his was wide and long on his left arm, which explained the dark red stains on Luna's shirt.

"It hurts like hell!" he cried, and clutched his arm, stumbling. Katie caught him before he fell, and she screamed.

"MRS. WEASLEY!!" she cried, and Molly came rushing over. She diagnosed the wound with her wand, then blanched.

"It's was a dark curse that hit him. Arthur was hit with just the thing during the First War. I have the tonic." She rushed to her cabinets and looked franticly through them.

Hermione suddenly felt a strange sensation in her right cheekbone. At first, it felt like a little tickle, then suddenly began to burn so terribly that it made Hermione almost lose consciousness.

"OH MERLIN!" Hermione screamed. "It burns!" she held her cheek, gasping. Molly heard, and grabbed another vial filled with the tonic. She handed it to Katie first.

"Katie, pour this all equally over his wound. It's thick and it falls slowly like a jelly, but once the whole wound is covered with this blue antidote, then the poison will be sucked out, the wound will stop burning him, and it will heal. You'll see it when the goo disappears. Hurry!"

Katie obeyed and quickly did as she said, and Molly rushed over to Hermione. She made her lie on the floor, then poured the goo gently over Hermione's face, making sure she herself didn't touch it.

Once the liquid fully covered the wound, Hermione stopped wincing and writhing on the floor, and she sighed heavily. The goo seeped into the wound, and the cut began to very slowly knit itself together painlessly. Hermione opened her eyes and smiled at Mrs. Weasley.

"Thank you so much, Molly. Your tonic saved me!" Molly smiled, relieved, and went over to check on Justin. He was doing fine as well, although his wound was healing slower than Hermione's. He opened his eyes slowly, and Katie sobbed in relief. She kissed him right then.

Luna was still unconscious on the couch and was breathing deeply, although all her wounds were healed. Neville was at her side, clutching her hand tightly, looking deeply worried.

"Can you revive her?" Ron asked.

"I'm afraid of what's going to happen to her if we do," Harry replied, looking weary.

"I want to see what's happened to her!" Hermione cried, feeling her heart hurt. Suddenly, Luna's eyes fluttered open, and Hermione rushed to her side.

Luna's usually bright blue, sparkling eyes looked glassy and dull, and she blinked several times. She looked around at her surroundings, then looked at the man who had captured her hand. She smiled at him.

"Hullo," she replied, and Neville let out a sob of relief and hugged her tightly. Luna looked confused. "Why is this man hugging me?" she asked, and Neville drew back as if she burned him.

"Don't you remember who I am?" he cried, and Luna looked at him for a good long while.

"What's your name?" she replied, and Neville collapsed, sobbing. Hermione felt her heart lurch, and tears ran down her face as well.

"Oh, don't cry!" Luna said franticly. "Don't cry because of me! I'm sorry!"

"Don't you remember any of us?" Hermione asked, and Luna glanced around.

"I don't remember a thing. Ooh, that girl is very pretty," Luna said with a smile, pointing at Katie Bell, and Hermione bit her bottom lip.

"You can't remember? Anything?"

"What are those?" Luna asked, still smiling brightly. "And what's that called? Oh, don't cry! What am I sitting on? Oh, and who are you?" Luna spoke to an empty space. "You look cheerier than all these folks!"

Her childish behavior broke Hermione, and she collapsed onto the floor, drew her knees to her chest, buried her head into her arms, and began to cry. Luna had gone mad. She couldn't remember anything, she was seeing things, and she could not stay focused at all on anything. It had only been a few hours earlier that Luna had said no one could be hurt. It seemed like so long ago now.

"Good Merlin! Luna!" Harry cried, and took the space next to a still sobbing Neville. He shook Luna's shoulders. "Can't you remember me? Can't you see what is going on?!"

Luna's big blue eyes filled up with tears, and her bottom lip trembled.

"You're very scary!" she said, and a tear fell. Harry gripped Luna's shoulders tightly, then let go of her.

"I'm—I'm sorry," he replied, and turned away.

"Goodness, all these people are so filthy and melancholy!" Luna retorted, as if she hadn't even been crying at all. "Don't you think, Juniper?" she asked the empty air.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Hermione awoke to loud screams. She was immediately on her feet and rushed to Luna's bedroom with her wand. Neville, who had volunteered to sleep with Luna that evening, was already by her side, trying to wake her.

"What is it Neville?" Hermione cried, and he looked at her.

"She's having a nightmare. She's been tossing and turned ever since she went to sleep. Only now she began screaming. I can't wake her!" He turned back to the frantic girl. "Luna! Wake up! Wake up!"

Hermione gripped Luna's shoulders and shook her like Harry had just that late afternoon. With both of them shaking the poor girl, she awoke in a cold sweat, panting hard, her blonde hair sticking to her.

"What—" Luna began, and shook her head, her eyes wide. She looked franticly around her. "Aren't you afraid of those spiders? They have enormous eyes, and gigantic teeth, and they all look so colourful, but they're terrible, deadly creatures! They're after me! I need to get out! I need to get out!" Luna thrashed her way through them and ran off, looking behind her every few seconds. Neville and Hermione dashed after her.

Luna traveled around the room, screaming, then went towards the window. She looked behind her and let out a blood-curling scream, obviously seeing something other than Hermione and Neville. She opened the window of the two-story building and attempted to jump out, still screaming.

"LUNA!" Hermione screamed, and caught her before she could jump to her death.

"No! Why are you holding me?! Those spiders! What are you? Are you spiders too? OH MERLIN!! I'M NOT SAFE! LET ME GO THROUGH THE TUNNEL! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!" Luna began sobbing, and thrashed around, trying to escape.

"Incarcerous!" Neville shouted, and Luna was bound. Hermione glared at Neville. "There's no other way to keep her from killing herself! She thinks she's in trouble!" he said desperately. "You must know that the last thing I want is to hurt her. I couldn't stand being without her!"

"Merlin, Neville, you chose a great time to express your love for her," Hermione snapped, and placed the tied up, screaming girl on the bed.

Harry, Ron, George, and Arthur burst into the room, their wands at the ready. "What's going on?" Ron bellowed, and Hermione quickly explained it to them.

"The best is to just tie her up then so she won't hurt herself," Arthur said, and Hermione broke into tears.

"I can't bear seeing Luna this way! It's terrible!"

"It's the best we can do for her. We'll have to keep her here to keep her safe for now. Go back to bed, everyone. Neville, you can go back to your room. I'll stay here with her."

"I'm staying," Neville said firmly, and Arthur just nodded wearily.

Hermione went back to her room, but she couldn't sleep the rest of the night.

* * *

**Author's Note: poor Luna!! i'm so sorry, it was heartbreaking to do that to her! well, thanks for reading, everybody. please review and tell me what you think! i'll love you all if you do!! And thank you to the anonymous reviewer who could count! there were four people missing, not three like i'd previously written. thank you for catching that! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione glared at herself in the small, dusty mirror that she had, and touched the wound that was still slowly healing, thanks to Molly's tonic. That last Death eater raid had been an ultimate failure for them, and Luna was just an absolutely devastating case to watch. It must've been even harder for Neville, with his parents gone the same way and all. Lavender had been found, more dead than alive, but what was even worse was that Susan hadn't been found yet, and it was the inevitable truth that she must've been killed. War was absolutely terrible.

Someone knocked on her door, and she glanced at it. "Come in," she called, and looked back into the mirror. She saw Draco Malfoy come in, to her surprise, and he shut the door. He was silent for a moment, then looked up at her.

"I'm…sorry for your losses," he said quietly. "I saw what happened to Lovegood. That's just…terrible."

"Well, you shouldn't care an awful much. After all, that's what people like you Death eaters do for fun," Hermione snapped at him. Draco's jaw clenched.

"I don't find any pleasure in doing that. I am not one of those Death eaters."

"What makes you any different? You said yourself a while ago that you're the same because you've been marked."

"I am not the same, Granger," he stated coldly.

"Why have you changed? Why are you helping us? Why aren't you with your father and mother and fighting against us?" she demanded, whipping her head around to look at him. He had closed his eyes, his jaw set, and he opened them, his angry grey eyes meeting hers.

"War changes people, Granger. It changes them into people they never dreamed they could be."

Hermione could second that statement in a heartbeat, but she couldn't let him know that. They were silent for a moment, each letting the statement really sink in, and Hermione knew that it was true. Everyone had changed so much.

She closed her eyes and turned back to her mirror slowly, putting her weary head in her hands.

"What did you want?" she asked, her voice sounding a bit throaty.

"I have to talk to you."

"Why do you have to talk to me? Go talk to Arthur or Harry or someone. Don't talk to me."

"That's the thanks I get for saving your life?!" he exclaimed angrily.

Hermione was silent for a moment. "I guess I should thank you for that," she muttered begrudgingly.

"A kiss would do," he replied sarcastically, and Hermione scoffed.

"Keep dreaming! What do you need me for?" she asked, and when he didn't respond, she looked at him. His gaze was serious and unmoving, and she sighed and followed him reluctantly down to the dimly-lit and silent conference room. Malfoy let her go in first like a true gentleman, then closed the door behind them.

It never crossed Hermione's mind that he could draw his wand on her at any moment.

As Draco walked towards her, he pulled out several parchments out of his inner robe pocket and handed them to her. She took it and unfolded them, gasping at its contents. There was first a map in some kind of simple-looking code. The second was a way to bypass the heavy wards surrounding the Malfoy Manor.

"What are these?" she asked quietly, thinking it too good to be true.

"It is what it is on the page," was his ambiguous reply. He sat across from her. "The reason I wanted to show only you first was so you could decipher the code and so I could show the finished product to the others.

Hermione looked up at him, her mouth still agape. "How did you even acquire these?" she asked.

"I've been doing a lot of sneaking around, note-taking, and a load of research and experiments."

"You're putting a lot of effort into this," Hermione said, looking back down at the map.

"I want this war to hurry up and be over so I could go back to my life with my family back without the fear of death surrounding me all the time. And I want to salvage whatever's left of my bloody house."

Hermione smiled at him, then handed him the Malfoy Manor plans. "I think we all want that, Malfoy. Here, you keep this and I'll try and decipher this map right now. It looks quite simple, actually."

Draco took the folded parchment and concealed it in his robe pocket.

"That map actually holds the secret paths and formulas from the Dark Lord to his inner circle. I just happened to copy it while it was going through."

"He doesn't just hand it to them?" Hermione asked, looking at the map again.

"This time he didn't, and it's just my luck that it passed by me. He created that code himself, and he uses it for everything he doesn't trust other Death eaters with, which is why only the wizards in his inner circle can understand it. It would be a large help to us, nevertheless."

"That's fantastic! I'll decipher it right now."

"I'll help you with that," he offered gallantly, and they began to study it.

* * *

Mark by mark, hour by hour, the two worked together on the map. Many, many times they argued as they compared notes, and their debates got so loud that finally Hermione had to cast a silencing charm around the room. She was very sure that everyone was wondering where she was, but it only crossed her mind once after three tedious hours dedicated to the code-breaking.

Hermione was beginning to run out of parchments to write her notes on, so she blasted a chair to pieces, then transfigured each piece into more parchments. Malfoy was suitably impressed, to say the least.

When Hermione checked her watch hours later, she gasped. It was already ten o' clock. They had spent seven bloody hours together working on the codes!

Her watch suddenly turned invisible, and she looked up at Draco accusingly. He tapped the map with his wand and raised a brow at her, and she scowled at him before complying grudgingly.

Another hour passed in silence, and Hermione leaned back and rubbed her eyes tiredly. 'So much for an easy code,' she thought to herself, and opened her eyes. She blinked and saw Malfoy staring at her. She furrowed her brows at him, then looked back at the code. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him follow her movement with his grey eyes, then he chuckled and looked back at the map, a small smirk on his face.

The tension of the room was growing thicker as each tick of the clock went by. They were both tired, stressed, and irritable at the moment. The silence was even beginning to bother Hermione. 'Who knew Voldemort could create such a complex code??' she thought, wanting to kill the wizard for making her work this much. She'd kill herself if she didn't finish in another hour.

She glanced at Malfoy who was working just as diligently as her. His brows furrowed in concentration, and he wrote furiously while glancing at the map and her previous notes now and then. He really was a dedicated wizard.

Suddenly, his face fell into a look of relief and pride, and he smirked widely at her.

"I GOT IT!" he yelled, jumping out of his chair and laughing. Hermione leapt up and chased after him.

"Let me see!" she shouted, and he stopped suddenly, making her bump into him. She grabbed the parchment and was delighted to see, through all his scribbled notes, the steps to decipher each code, and the meaning of every marking. Hermione turned to him.

"You're brilliant!" she squealed, and impetuously flung her arms around Draco's neck and kissed him straight on the mouth. It was firm and quick, but Hermione found herself tight in his grasp when she tried weakly to pull away. Draco searched her eyes with his silver orbs.

"Am I dreaming now?" he asked, almost inaudibly, then looked down at her mouth and leant down to kiss her again. They both momentarily forgot the war, forgot everyone, and forgot themselves.

The two finally separated when Hermione ran out of breath. She breathed hard while Draco buried his head in the crook of her neck.

"What," she asked once she got her voice back, "the hell are you doing?"

Draco raised his head to smirk at her flushed face, his eyes shining.

"Your hair smells very clean."

Hermione blushed deeply, not knowing whether he was complimenting her or not, and he kissed her again. She quickly pushed him away, taking the parchment with her.

"Don't kiss me," she stated, and Draco followed her as she walked back to the table.

"Why not? You kissed me first."

"That was just nerves," she replied.

"Nerves? What a load of dragon crap. I know you fancy me," he said, watching her as she stacked their notes together.

"No!" she uttered much too fiercely, then blushed when she realised that she had just proven his statement. Draco smiled brightly and kissed her again when she turned around. Once again, Hermione pushed him away.

"We can't do anything, though. With this war going on, we couldn't even be friends! I'm not supposed to trust you because you're a Death eater, and you shouldn't trust me because I'm a member of the Order. And I especially shouldn't fancy you at all. It just isn't…right."

"Well, you do trust me, and you do fancy me, despite what you say."

"I don't trust you at all!" Hermione replied hotly.

"And I'm sure you were very paranoid when I brought you in here, with my Death eater status and all. I'm also quite certain you worried every moment that I could pull my wand out on you and kill you, and no one would know till later."

Hermione reddened. "Shut up!"

"I don't care what anyone else thinks or says, love, you fancy me, and I fancy you. It's nothing more than a wizard and a witch liking each other during bad times."

"Only, I care. That's the problem," Hermione said with a frown. Draco smiled and stroked her cheek. Hermione quickly swatted his hand away, and he chuckled.

"Fine. We won't do anything public, but let me just warn you that behind closed doors—"

"Don't even finish that sentence!" Hermione said, blushing hard. Draco laughed.

"Fine, fine, but I will still kiss you whether you like it or not."

"Why did I have to do that?" Hermione asked the ceiling.

"Because you like me," Draco replied, and stole another kiss.

"I'll have you know I'm not ever going to initiate the kiss. I don't even think we should do anything. I even feel guilty for being happy, with so much despair going on!"

"Fine by me. As long as you stop pushing me away and just let yourself accept it."

Hermione rolled her eyes, and Draco leant down to kiss her again, and this time, she easily kissed him back. When he pulled away, his eyes sparkled brightly at her.

"See, I told you so," he said with a smirk. Hermione rolled her eyes at him again.

"Shut up. Let's get out of here. Everyone's probably wondering where I am." She turned her back on him and removed the silencing charm, then suddenly yawned. "By Merlin, I'm tired," she muttered, and turned her watch visible again. Draco looked over her shoulder to check the time as well.

"It's already midnight! I guess we missed tea and dinner, didn't we?" he looked at her.

"I suppose so," she said with a sigh. "But at least we were successful in breaking the code."

"You mean _I _was," he corrected.

"Oh, I'm sure you were," she said with another eye roll.

Harry Potter suddenly burst into the room, and Hermione stepped away from Draco quickly.

"Hermione! I thought I heard you in here. What are you doing with him?"

"We were attempting to break through a code the Dark Lord created!" she said excitedly. Then she hesitated and looked at Draco quickly. "Malfoy wanted to show it to me first so I could break through the code. It took us almost ten hours, but we did it!"

"You're amazing, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed. "Come on, let's go tell the others!"

He grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her along. She glanced over her shoulder at Draco who was frowning at the two, and she smiled softly at him before following Harry out.

* * *

Harry and Hermione went down the stairs and found Luna on the couch and Neville at her side, clutching her hand.

"Oh! Who is this person you're talking about?" Luna was asking him excitedly.

"Well, she's a smart, outgoing, brave, and a beautiful witch, and she isn't afraid to be unique," Neville replied with a smile on his face. Luna smiled dreamily, a distant echo of the old Luna everyone used to know.

"She sounds lovely," she replied, and Neville smiled.

"Yeah, she is."

Hermione sighed sadly as they passed, and she glanced back at Neville. His eyes were warm when he looked upon her, but his smile was forced and melancholy.

Harry's voice drew her attention away from the poor bloke. "Hermione aren't you hungry?" he asked. She was suddenly very aware of her ravenous stomach.

"Extremely," she groaned, clutching her stomach. Harry laughed at her, then got some food out of the cabinet.

"I had a feeling you were doing something like breaking codes when you weren't at dinner, so I made a mental note to find you and feed you later."

That made Hermione laugh.

"All right, Mum. I'll eat." Harry shot her an amused glance and handed her a cup of water and some mashed potatoes.

"That's all there's left, sorry," he said apologetically. "We drank all the butterbeer earlier."

"It's fine," she replied, and ate quickly. She was starving.

"I'm going to go sleep," Harry said, and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Harry left, and Hermione ate in the kitchen alone. It was a good twenty minutes before someone suddenly walked in. Hermione gasped.

Luna's bare feet padded softly on the kitchen tile, and she had a dreamy smile on her face.

"L-Luna, are you all right?" she asked.

"Are you speaking to me?" Luna replied, and smiled. "I guess you can call me that. I'm perfectly fine. I'm just feeling a little hungry."

"Oh. Um, what would you like?"

"Ooh, a nice warm drink would be wonderful," she said, smiling dreamily.

"Do you want some warm milk?" Hermione asked, and Luna nodded. Hermione quickly warmed a cup of milk and handed it to Luna, who immediately gulped it down as if she didn't have enough time. Luna suddenly jerked her head up and dropped the cup, and turned slowly, looking cautious, and walked slowly out, her upper body frozen in that cautious position.

Hermione watched Luna travel up the stairs, and sighed. She cleaned up the milk and the cup and put them away, then cleaned up her own dishes and followed Luna up. She was exhausted with the days' events.

* * *

**Author's Note: hello, everyone! i do hope you enjoyed this chapter. yay for hermione and draco! please, please review! it'll make my day! i really want to know what you think of this story. not many people are reviewing, and i'm thinking of stopping this story all together. please review and tell me your thoughts on it!**


	7. Chapter 7

Three weeks passed with little or no news from the Dark Lord. Kingsley visited every once in a while with news from the Ministry. Arthur did his best to keep everyone and all the information together, but he knew that it was all up to Harry in the end.

Meanwhile, Luna was just growing worse. She would chat amiably with anyone when she wasn't in her trance but when she awoke the next morning, she would forget everything. Her nightmares were getting worse and worse, and while she slept, Arthur began the habit of tying her up for her own safety. It was terrible, and tears would prickle into Hermione's eyes whenever she was awoken by Luna's devastating, blood-curling screams.

Hermione and Draco, however, were doing splendidly. Every time he made as to kiss her, she'd feel guilty, but once his lips were on hers, she'd forget almost everything. Once, he had just held her in such an affectionate way that she had burst into tears, feeling too overwhelmed and stressed to handle it. They would still argue, still fight, and more than once he had roughly grabbed her and shook her, his eyes ablaze in his ire. But she knew he would never really hurt her. And when she apologised, yes, _she_ apologised, he would be very affectionate and loving to her.

One afternoon, Hermione was sitting in the kitchen by herself, a moment of peace and solitude in the usual noisy rooms she was in. Draco had just left, and she sighed. It was truly tiring to keep being so discreet. It was lucky they hadn't been found out yet, even in a span of only three weeks.

Suddenly, someone Apparated into the kitchen, and Hermione whipped her head around cautiously to see Draco Malfoy materialise in front of her eyes. He strode up to her quickly, and in one motion, cupped her face gently in his hands and kissed her. Hermione closed her eyes and kissed him sweetly back. Finally, Draco bestowed three more quick kisses on her lips and pulled his face away. He smiled softly at her and stroked the scar on her cheekbone gently with his thumb. He kissed her lips once more before pulling away fully and turned away to Disapparate.

"Wait!" Hermione said quickly. Draco turned to look at her, and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him affectionately. When she pulled her lips away, he smiled grandly at her.

"I thought you said you would never initiate the kiss."

Hermione grinned and kissed him again.

"I don't always mean what I say," she said softly before kissing him once again.

"I've got to go," Draco whispered, his lips brushing hers before kissing them. "I wish I didn't."

"You have to go," Hermione whispered back, and sighed before pulling away completely. Draco looked at her and smiled mournfully.

"I'll be back."

"Oh, I know. That's one thing I can count on." She smiled at him and Draco breathed deeply.

"Come here real quick," he said and held out his arms. Hermione complied, and he held her and kissed the top of her head.

"Once this war is over, we could be together, and no one would care so much."

Hermione felt her eyes begin to water and she pressed the side of her face into his chest.

"Yeah," she agreed softly.

They were silent for a few minutes. She relished in the feeling of his warm body against hers, his strong arms around her, and she sighed. She could live in his arms forever. As the thought entered her mind, she immediately banished it. He was a Death eater, and she was a member of the Order. He wasn't totally trustworthy, and she could never love or truly trust someone like him. It was just…wrong.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, pressing his cheek against her head.

"Nothing important."

He didn't reply, but they stayed silent for a little while longer, till he pulled back.

"I really got to go," he said stiffly, and Hermione sighed and nodded.

"Bye," she said softly, and he was gone.

* * *

Hermione awoke in the middle of the night to Luna's screams as she did almost every evening now. She covered her ears with her pillow, and shut her eyes tight. Still, Luna's desperate screams penetrated through Hermione's sound barrier.

Tonight, the screams sounded different. It sounded more desperate than usual. Hermione kicked off her covers and walked out and down the hall to Luna's bedroom. Arthur, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Neville were in there already, trying to ease the poor girl. Luna's eyes were wide, and she writhed around, trying to get free from her bondage. No one could hold her, and she wouldn't let anyone comfort her. She'd bite them if they got too close to her, or she'd attempt to. Ginny and Neville were both in tears, and Harry was pleading with Luna.

"Is she awake?" Hermione asked, and Ron shrugged.

"I've got no idea. She could be. But then again, she might not be. She's still in her nightmare, that's for sure."

Hermione walked hurriedly to Luna and grabbed her by the shoulders. Luna burst into a cold sweat and closed her eyes tightly, letting out a blood-curling scream before biting her bottom lip. She tilted her head upwards and was rocking back and forth in her bondage. Hermione sat her up and slapped her once. Luna's eyes shot open and she looked at Hermione in surprise.

"Luna Lovegood! Wake up!" Hermione yelled, and Luna's blue eyes widened and became fearful.

"Wh-who are you?" she asked in a soft, trembling voice. Ginny's sudden sob was the only sound in the room, and the red-headed girl turned away.

"I'm Hermione Granger. I'm a friend. All of us in here are your friends! We'll help you! What are you screaming about?"

Luna's eyes were darting everywhere. She was paranoid, and she kept looking all around her. She finally met Hermione's eyes again, her face drenched in sweat and her blue eyes wild.

"They're here, you know," she whispered in a frightened voice. "You've got to save me from them!"

"Who? Who's here?" Hermione asked, her fingers tightening on Luna's shoulders suddenly. Neither noticed.

"They're here!" Luna squeaked out, and tears began pouring out of her eyes. "They've come to get me, because I was a traitor! All of them are here. I can hear them, see them, smell them! They all wear black cloaks and masks, and it frightens me. I gave away information, too much, and they all want revenge, because I wrote out their deaths," Luna said, her voice shaking so badly Hermione could barely make out what she was saying. But what she said struck fear in Hermione's heart.

"What's going to happen to you?" Hermione whispered.

"I was going to run away! Run away and never come back! But I can't now, because they're all here! They've come to get me!"

Luna's eyes widened and she suddenly screamed hysterically. She was thrashing around so hard that she kicked Hermione in the stomach, making her fall back. Ron quickly pulled Hermione away from the frantic girl, and now Hermione was sobbing.

"Did she hurt you?" Ron asked quietly, and Hermione nodded slowly.

"She hurts my heart," she sobbed, and Ron hugged her as she cried, Luna's incessant screams bleeding into the darkness.

* * *

Almost no one slept that night. Only George, Lee, Ernie, Lavender, Parvati, and Padma slept a little from exhaustion. Hermione's eyes were puffy along with many of the others from crying nearly all night. Luna's nightmare was still not over, and she still screamed as if the world couldn't hear her. When Draco arrived for a meeting that didn't happen because of Luna's situation, even he tried to stop the tortured girl, but it was to no avail. Hermione was still worried about Luna's nightmare, and grabbed her again.

"Luna! Listen to me! You're safe! No one is trying to get you!"

"Get her?" Hannah Abbott asked.

"She's dreaming that she's a spy and that she gave away too much information and that all these Death eaters are tracking her down." Hermione's eyes flickered to Draco's brieful, but he had that calm demeanor he always had on. Hermione knew it was no coincidence that Luna had this nightmare.

"I'M NOT SAFE! GET AWAY! LET ME GO!" Luna screamed at an unearthly pitch, and Hermione hugged her tightly, crying again.

"Luna! Wake up!" Hermione sobbed, and Luna sobbed with her, only for a different reason. Luna stilled after a little while as Hermione continued to hug her, then pulled back when Luna went limp against her shoulder.

"Luna? Are you alright now?" Hermione asked softly, then she gasped so hard that she began choking. Luna was breathing, but her eyes were glazed over and she wasn't moving, and she definitely wasn't sleeping. Ginny went to Hermione as Neville and several others went to Luna.

"Enervate!" McGonagall exclaimed as she pointed her wand at her former student. She didn't awaken. "Luna! Luna Lovegood!"

Molly rushed downstairs to her cabinet of potions and began searching through for some potion even Hermione probably wouldn't know of. Harry shook Luna, yelling into her face, and Neville held her hand tightly. Ron joined Ginny and Hermione and the three watched as McGonagall, Harry, Arthur, Michael, Anthony, Terry, Seamus, Dean, Lavender, Padma, Parvati, Hannah, Katie, Justin, Ernie, and even Alicia Spinnet and Dennis Creevy, who were only acquainted with Luna, rushed to her side, trying to wake her. Nothing worked, not even the potion. Hermione watched as several of the girls broke down and wept when it all seemed hopeless. Lavender dropped into Seamus' arms and wept, and Hermione cried with Ginny. The only sign of hope was that Luna was still breathing deeply and continuously, but there was really nothing they could do but wait.

Draco stood isolated in the corner, hidden from everyone by a ripped tapestry, surveying the scene, his eyes dry. He really had no reason to cry, if he even would. He had never been friends with her, and had only known her to be loony anyway. Hermione wiped her eyes and pulled back from a sobbing Ginny. She moved the girl to her brother's arms, and went to Draco instead. He was deep in thought when she was approaching him, and his calm demeanor seemed to have faded. He had on a somber expression and seemed to have a sense of empathy for everyone. Hermione wondered why.

When she touched his arm, Draco looked at her, surprised that she was near him in public. He looked into her teary eyes and swallowed, then looked back at the unconscious Luna. Hermione let her hand drop.

"She could be in a coma," he said softly, his voice thick. Hermione watched him swallow again, his face gloomy.

"I'm worried about you," Hermione replied. His confused gaze transferred over to her.

"Why?"

"Luna's nightmare." Hermione looked over at the sobbing crowd surrounding Luna, then looked back up at Draco. "It sounds a lot like you."

Draco scoffed. "I'm a lot more careful than that. And they wouldn't be able to find out. I've been a spy for nearly a year, and I still haven't gotten caught."

"Draco," Hermione said softly, and he looked at her again, very aware of her hand brushing his fingers. "Just be careful."

Draco decided he didn't care who was watching, and grabbed Hermione's hand.

"Fine. I'll be careful. I still say her nightmare was just a dream, though. It doesn't mean anything. And it won't mean anything."

Hermione sighed and looked back at Luna, a thoughtful look on her face. "I really hope so."

Ron's gaze flickered to Hermione, and she quickly tried to pull her hand away, but Draco refused to release it. Thankfully, Ron didn't notice, but just smiled sadly at Hermione before gazing at Luna again. Hermione looked up at Draco, but he didn't meet her eyes. His thumb was stroking her palm now, and Hermione tried to pull her hand free again. This time, Draco looked at her, then let go. Hermione quickly left his side and went to Neville, who seemed devastated. Neville's poor heart seemed to be broken again.

After several hours of panic, Luna's eyes flickered open, and she blinked twice. Arthur went to her side immediately. "Luna Lovegood? Can you hear me?"

Luna's blue eyes were wide, and she slowly sat up, observing everything like a little child. Her eyes finally met Arthur's, and she blinked again.

"Are you speaking to me? I can hear just fine!" she said with a dreamy smile, and Ginny choked out a sob of relief.

"Get yourself together, Gin! She's going to be all right!" Ron said with a grin, and Ginny sniffed. George joined Ginny's side and was trying to comfort her now that Luna was awake.

Hermione went to Harry's side, holding his arm as he sighed heavily in relief.

"Oh Mister! I've had the most remarkable dream! Do you want to hear it?" Luna asked, beaming. Arthur nodded, and Luna began rambling about the first pleasant dream she had had since the battle at London.

Hermione suddenly felt overwhelmed at hearing Luna's story, and got up quickly. She touched Harry's shoulder and smiled at him, then went off to Draco's side again. "I have to speak to you," she said, and he nodded once and followed her, making sure no one could see him. Hermione led him to the nearest broom closet, and kissed him soundly once he closed the door. He held her tight.

"Good Merlin, Hermione, if you ever went mad, I don't know what I'd do," he said into her hair, and she sniffed.

"I'd say the same for you. Luna's nightmare still has me worried," Hermione said softly, and kissed him again.

"I can't promise nothing like that will happen to me, but I'll try my best to stay safe, Hermione. I'll try."

"Promise me, Draco, that you won't do anything stupid like that, please," Hermione breathed, but Draco stayed silent, and he looked away. Hermione, unnerved by his avoiding look, grabbed his face and faced him to her. "Promise me," she pleaded. Draco's hands went to hers and he pulled her hands down so that he held them.

"I can't promise anything, Hermione," he said, his grey orbs penetrating into her.

"Merlin, Malfoy," she cried and hugged him tightly. They stayed in the darkness like that for a little while, just holding each other, as thousands of thoughts were running through Hermione's mind, all jumbled around and making no sense. Finally, Hermione pulled away and kissed him again before peeking through the crack in the door, and quickly opened it and went back to Luna's room where she was sitting on the bed, now untied, talking amiably to Hannah Abbott. Mostly everyone was gone now that the worst had passed. McGonagall stood at the door, keeping an eye on Luna and Hannah. Hermione went to her former professor and stood next to her, watching the two girls converse as well.

"What do you think made her go into a coma?" Hermione asked softly. McGonagall sighed.

"I'm not sure at this point, my dear. It is most likely an after-effect of the Cruciatus curse that Ms. Lovegood endured."

Hermione swallowed and looked at the girls again. She saw Draco come out from the hallway she had just come from only a few minutes ago, and he headed to the stairway.

"Professor, Granger," he said with a nod of his head, and went down the steps towards the kitchen. Hermione swallowed again as she gazed at Luna's smiling face as she chat happily. Hopefully, Luna would get better from this point on.

* * *

**Author's Note: thank you everyone who reviewed so enthusiastically to my last chapter! and i'm very glad some of you like this story so much! just reading some of your reviews made my day!!! thank you, thank you thank you! i'll continue this story enthusiastically for those of you who reviewed so happily. Review this chapter too, and as a little extra, I'll give you a little peek at the next chapter! Thanks! I love all you reviewers! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	8. Chapter 8

In the middle of the night, Hermione awoke to an incessant pecking at her window. She was alerted immediately and drew her wand that she kept with her at all times. A dark eagle owl was outside her window, attempting to peck a hole into the glass, a letter attached to its foot.

Hermione opened the window and took the letter. Immediately, the owl soared off silently into the night. Confused, Hermione closed her window and locked it, then opened the letter. It was written in some kind of code, and, having no idea whether it was important or just scribbled nonsense, she broke the seal and took the letter out of the envelope.

It was all written in nonsense, or so it seemed. Immediately, Hermione perceived some markings that Voldemort had used in his own code.

She spent all night solving it.

At five in the morning, Hermione grinned and translated the letter. It read:

_Granger,_

_I thought you'd figure this out! I was hoping that you would. This could be our new code so no one else could figure it out. It took me days to make one up complicated enough that no one else could read it, but simple enough that you could figure it out. And if you're reading this, it worked! Well, tell me tomorrow, love, when I come to visit you. I mean, come to tell Mr. Weasley or someone some news. Till then._

_-Draco_

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Stupid bloke made me stay up all night figuring this out!" she groaned, collapsing on her bed.

-

The next morning, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Arthur, and Kingsley Shacklebolt were in the living room discussing important matters, when they heard a shout.

"Good Merlin!" Mrs. Weasley cried out in the kitchen. All five raced into the kitchen, then rolled their eyes when they saw Draco Malfoy there, attempting to calm Molly down as she gripped the counter tightly. "I'm getting too old for surprises!" she exclaimed, and Ron frowned.

"Don't scare my mother like that. Why did you even need to be here anyway?" he snapped. "We didn't call you for anything."

"I just needed to get some news across, Weasley. May I speak to you, Mr. Weasley, for a moment?" Draco asked, flashing a debonair smile at the older wizard. Arthur nodded, and as he led the way to the conference room, Hermione quickly grabbed Draco's arm.

"I solved it, Malfoy," she said, and he raised his eyebrows and nodded, then turned around and continued walking without a backwards glance.

Hermione frowned at his backside and crossed her arms as he walked away with Mr. Weasley and Harry.

"What was that all about?" Ron asked, and Hermione glared at the direction where Malfoy had left.

"We were supposed to solve a code, and I solved it. I was just telling him that, but he deems it unimportant, so it seems," she said with a sniff.

"Great job Hermione! That bloke just doesn't appreciate you." Ron smiled at her. "You're a great help to everyone!"

Hermione let out an exasperated sound and wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"Good Merlin, Ronald, where would I be without you complimenting me every moment of the day?"

"Apparently not here," he said with a little laugh, and Hermione grinned as she pulled back.

"Thanks, Ron. I'd better go, though. Your mum wanted some help in the kitchen."

Ron nodded and waved, then went the opposite direction. Hermione arrived into the kitchen and smiled at Molly.

"You called me, Molly?" she asked.

"Can you help me with the vegetables?" Mrs. Weasley answered as she bustled around, saying spells here and there.

"Um, sure."

"They are delicate and need to be washed by hand. Magic can't help with that and cutting them, unfortunately. But sometimes, one can get a lot of relief from cooking by hand."

"I know what you mean," Hermione said with a smile.

"Oh, thank you, Hermione dear! You're an absolute help!"

"I'm happy to help!"

Right then, Malfoy came into the kitchen. He nodded at Molly, then glanced at Hermione. She glared at him, and he raised his eyebrows at her. Instead of reacting to that, she just turned away and kept cutting her vegetables. She heard the _pop!_, indicating his Disapparition, and she frowned deeply at the vegetables and cut them quicker.

'Stupid. Bloke. Thinks. He. Can. Do. Whatever. He. Wants,' she thought between each slice of the green onion she cut.

"Gracious, Hermione, don't cut them so harshly! You might cut your fingers!" Molly exclaimed. Hermione just nodded, still staring at the green onion she was still slicing.

-

Hermione was alone on her bed, and she was looking over the instructions to bypass the wards at the Malfoy Manor. Most of Malfoy's notes were just opinions or guesses, since there was no real way to test it. Hermione sighed and tapped the quill she had in her hand against her lip.

Suddenly, someone's warm fingers pulled her quill away and their face loomed over hers, as if to kiss her. She turned her face away just in time, feeling the person's lips brush her cheek instead.

"Are you angry?" the voice asked softly, opting to kiss that side of her face instead.

"Yes," Hermione replied stubbornly, then went closer to the wall so he couldn't reach her.

"Oh, come off it, Hermione, don't be daft. I was only playing indifferent so no one would know."

"And I'm playing indifferent right now so you won't know."

Hermione wasn't making much sense, but she didn't care. She turned away from him and stuck her nose up in the air.

"Why are you even angry with me anyway?"

"Because you are a mean person and I don't like you. And because you are very cold and uncaring."

"Granger, stop being the victim. It's making me sick."

Hermione turned angrily at Draco. "Then be sick!"

"Stop, Hermione! Merlin!"

"I think you paid more attention to me back when we hated each other." Hermione turned her head to the dark wallpaper. It was silent for a moment, then she felt a warm body slide onto the bed with her, and she whipped her head around only to be kissed. She pulled away quickly, but he turned her head back toward his and kissed her again.

"Are—you—jealous?" he asked between each kiss. Hermione leant into him involuntarily, wanting more. She sniffed.

"No," she said quite stiffly before he kissed her again.

"Hermione Granger wants attention," he cooed before kissing her again. The way he had just said it made her laugh, so she burst into giggles against his mouth. "What?"

"Don't make me laugh. You're barmy," she drawled out as she leant against his shoulder, and he smiled beatifically at her before leaning down to kiss her again.

"Merlin, I love you," he mumbled against her lips, and as he kissed her again, Hermione's eyes shot open. She pulled away from him quickly, her eyes wide.

"What?"

Draco searched her honey-brown eyes, then his grey orbs widened.

"I—I…"

"You love me? _You love me?!_"

Draco pulled back, clearly uncomfortable, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, I didn't mean for it to spew out that way," he grumbled, and Hermione backed away till her back was against the cold wall.

He looked at her, his grey eyes searching hers again.

"It takes a lot of guts to use a word like that," Hermione whispered.

Draco nodded.

"It's also a powerful word to just throw around," she added softly. Draco sighed and looked away, his grey eyes inscrutable.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said.

"Then what did you mean?"

Hermione watched as Draco looked down at his pale hands, then at the dark purple bed spread. He put his hand on the bed and began tracing the designs.

"I think I've loved you for a while. I hated you all during school, don't misunderstand that. It's come a long way. After I saw Snape kill Dumbledore, and after I became a spy, I just…" Draco gave a heavy sigh and looked up at a blank wall away from her. "You just intrigued me. And after spending a lot of time amongst all of you when I became a spy, I began to fancy you. I think I really knew I loved you after this last Death eater raid."

He stopped talking and looked at her, then looked down at the bed spread again. "I'm sorry if you're not ready to hear this. I honestly didn't mean to say it like this. I was hoping to say it sometime in the distant future."

"I don't think I ever would've been ready to hear that," Hermione whispered, and he glanced up at her and swallowed, then looked down again, all of his self-confidence gone.

"Well, it's better now than never, I suppose."

Draco looked up at her again, then got up slowly and began towards the door. Every one of his footsteps made the wooden floor squeak, and every squeak seemed to puncture into Hermione's heart.

When the door closed, Hermione continued staring at the white wood for a long time.

-

Hermione had thought about Draco Malfoy for three days. Right now, it was nearly high tea, and she had missed lunch. Her weak excuse to Ginny was that she wasn't hungry. Wasn't hungry indeed. Currently, she was lying under her bed covers, staring at the ceiling. She had enchanted it to make it look like the stars that would appear that night. As a little girl back in the Muggle world, she had always loved to look at stars with her parents, and she still did. But now, there was usually no time to look at stars. She had hoped one day she'd stop what she was doing to look at those bright glowing rocks of mass, pondering life. She had been doing that for several hours now.

He loved her. There was no mistakening that now. He could be lying, but there was nothing he could get from her by saying that. She had already gone through that possibility long ago. He loved her. She couldn't fathom exactly why, but did it really matter? He loved her. It was much too early in their relationship for him to say anything of the sort, and if she had said it back, she would have been lying. He loved her. Draco Malfoy, a Death eater for the Dark Lord and a spy for the Order, loved her. He had saved her life once, and he would probably do it again and again if needed. She did not love him. Fancy him, she did. Like him? Very much. But love? Not at all. Love was much too powerful a word to describe what she felt for him. She didn't love him, and she couldn't! He was a Death eater. But since they didn't know who would die in the war, it would be nice enough to humour him. But she couldn't. That would be cruel.

A knock on the door disturbed her thoughts. She closed her eyes, feigning sleep, and immediately, Draco's face came swimming to her through the darkness. That wasn't love, was it?

"See? I told you. The stress is just making her tired," someone said from the doorway. Hermione recognized it as Ron's voice.

"Well, I don't know. She doesn't seem right to me," his sister replied. It was only obvious Ginny would understand something the boys didn't.

"Come off it, Ginny, and let her alone. Just let her sleep."

Ron closed the door despite Ginny's protests, and she was alone again. She opened her eyes and gazed up at the stars, feeling love for Ron for mentally understanding what she wanted right then. That was real love. What she felt for Draco wasn't love. It was just…lust, a fancy. But it wouldn't make sense to just end a relationship because one person loved the other. Hermione sighed and stretched, then got out of bed. She remade her bed with a swish of her wand, then pocketed the magical stick of wood and started down the stairs.

When she went down, she saw the only people who were aware that Draco was a spy, down there, drinking tea and eating scones. A few gazed at her as she joined them, and Ron smiled warmly at her before continuing his conversation with Ginny. She met Ginny's eyes and smiled. Ginny looked worried, but smiled back before looking down into her tea cup.

Molly poured Hermione a cup of tea, and she thanked her before suddenly catching grey eyes behind Mrs. Weasley. He looked a bit startled that Hermione was down here, and she was startled that he was here. Molly saw the looks exchanged between the two, and smiled, clearly misreading them.

"Now, now, let's be civil. I invited him to tea, Hermione, since he was here and all the others were gone. He refused profusely on his part, but I wouldn't take no for an answer."

Hermione just smiled weakly and nodded before looking down into the warm liquid in her cup. She felt Draco's eyes on her again, scrutinising her every move. Suddenly, it felt very good to be loved and wanted. She met his eyes again, a stoic expression on her face. He wore a serious mask as well, but was clearly tuning out a rambling George. Hermione wanted to smile, to show him it was all right, but she couldn't, not in front of these folks anyway. So instead, she turned away again and bit into a vanilla scone.

After tea, Hermione immediately went over to Draco and grabbed his arm, startling him. "I need to talk to you," she muttered lowly so only he could hear, and he sucked in a deep breath and nodded. Hermione walked out, then began towards the empty conference room. When she saw Harry, Ron, Kingsley, and Arthur going in there, she veered off towards her room. Ginny, Seamus, Dean, George, Angelina, and Lee Jordan were up there in the hallway already, playing Gobstones. Wanting to growl, Hermione turned away again.

"Hey, Hermione! Want to play Gobstones with us?" Ginny called, and she turned, flashing a smile at them.

"No thanks. I've got things to do."

She quickly hurried back down, and saw Luna and Neville in the living room, Molly in the kitchen, and others everywhere. The only place she saw empty was the loo. So that's where she went. Draco arrived nearly two minutes later. He cast a silencing charm around the room, then turned to face her.

"I nearly got lost trying to follow wherever you went."

"Yeah, well there's not much privacy in this house," Hermione said softly, and looked up at him. Draco was gazing at her, his look questioning.

"Why did you—" He was cut off by Hermione's lips, and he kissed her fervently back.

When she pulled back, he kept his eyes closed and his nose pressed lightly on her face still, feeling sensitive to her warm arms around his neck, her body in his arms, her hand in his hair. He could feel her breath against his lips and her nose pressing to the side of his nose. He opened his eyes, and her face was a blur, she was so close. He swallowed and pulled his face back to look clearly at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and Hermione looked up at him, noticing how his eyes seemed to shine.

"Yes, I'm alright. I got over myself. I can accept that you love me, Draco Malfoy. It isn't a crime."

Draco nodded and smiled softly at her, something he had been doing a lot of the past two weeks. He leant down to kiss her again, tenderly. "I do love you," he murmured, and this time, Hermione smiled.

"I know."

* * *

"All right, all right! Everyone, settle down! Let's all gather 'round, now," Harry called. "Now you all know today Vold—I mean, the Dark Lord is planning another ambush. Now it's been nearly two months since the last one, and we've all been living pretty much in constant fear of another surprise attack such as the last was planned to be. But our spy caught heed of it, and this time, we'll be the ones ready again. This time, it is a smaller attack in a smaller neighborhood in Surrey. We've all got to be ready and on your guard! Now everyone has got a picture of the neighborhood, right? I want you all to burn that picture into your minds, then Apparate there if you can. All right, let's all go!"

Harry nodded at everyone, then jumped down from the table he had been standing on, and Disapparated with Ginny on his arm. Hermione looked at the picture she held of a nice neighborhood. It looked very peaceful and pretty. It wouldn't stay that way for long. She remembered the destruction of the last neighborhood six months prior, and felt despair creep into her heart. They would not lose this time.

Ron approached Hermione and grabbed onto her arm like he had last time. She smiled at him, then closed her eyes, envisioning the place in her mind, and thought the spell. She felt herself being suddenly transported, and when she opened her eyes, she was in the little neighborhood in Surrey. Ron turned to her and kissed her cheek, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Good luck, Hermione. Be safe."

Hermione gave Ron a hug and smiled. "You too, Ron. Good luck."

They smiled at each other again, then ran off to their positions. They had to wait for nearly an hour before Death eaters began arriving. As soon as they did, they were stunned, silenced, and bound, then levitated away. Each member of the Order had nearly two Death eaters each, but they handled it well. Once Voldemort got what they were doing, he began sending his Death eaters in groups, and the real fight began.

Hermione fought long, and fought hard. She was cursed more times than she had been the last, but she thankfully didn't need to be rescued. The Death eaters she caught and bound, she added to the pile of dark wizards that were being captured. The battle lasted only a few hours before all the Death eaters began disappearing, and when the last masked wizard left, everyone crowed and celebrated. Until a loud cry of despair was heard.

Hermione, worried now, ran to the spot where she had heard the cry. The person continued to wail and sob loudly. When she reached the spot, a whole group had surrounded the person, and Hermione felt panic rising into her chest. She quickly pushed her way through the crowd, then felt horror-stricken at the sight before her.

Ginny Weasley cradled her brother's head to her chest, sobbing hard. Hermione blanched, and suddenly collapsed to her knees and buried her face in her hands.

"RON!!!!!!" she screamed, and brought her face so low her forehead touched the ground. "Oh Merlin! Not Ron, not Ron!!!" she sobbed.

"Ronald, Ronald, Ronald," Molly moaned over and over as she wept, and Arthur stood very still, his face covered with his hands. George had collapsed, and Angelina and Lee Jordan tried to lift him up. Harry sat on the hard ground, staring in a daze at the body, his glasses forgotten on the side of him.

"We lost Ron. We all lost Ron," Lavender sobbed, and leant on Parvati and Padma Patil. "Good Merlin, Ron!"

Ronald Weasley was dead.

* * *

Every Weasley was in despair just as they had been when Fred had died. Bilius left his wife, Fleur Delacour at the Shell Cottage and comforted his father and himself when he could. Charlie had come back from Romania and comforted his mother as much as he could and tried to take care of her. George moped around the house and didn't eat or drink much. When he did, he'd stare at his food for a long time, or tears would begin to prickle into his eyes, and he'd glance at the chair Ron would sit in, then Fred. And he'd push away his food and go back upstairs.

Ginny took it as hard as George did. When Fred had died, she had been in despair, but now, it was as if someone had killed her. She stayed in her room all day and all night and wouldn't come out for anyone. If anyone managed to get into her room, they'd be jinxed and sent out again. Ginny would slowly die in her room like that.

Arthur and Molly were also deeply saddened. Two of their precious children had died, and tears would trickle down their faces whenever they caught sight of any of the others. Many, many times, Molly spontaneously hugged one of them, weeping, and the child would comfort her as best they could. It was as if Fred had died again, only taking Ron with him. But nothing could bring either back.

Hermione tried her best to be there for the family, but when she wasn't in the gloomy Burrow, she'd be in the melancholy Grimmauld Place, mourning with the others. Susan Bones was finally marked as dead, so they mourned her death along with Ron's. It wasn't that they had just lost a classmate and a member of the Order and Dumbledore's Army, but they had lost a friend.

Hermione was exhausted. When she was in the living room, she saw Luna, the happiest of the lot, only she didn't understand what was going on. She was a physical example of the casualties in the war. When Hermione was in any other place in the gloomy building, she would feel even more despair, so she stayed in her room, reading books or preparing herself even more for the war. Other times, she would just cry and cry for everything. That afternoon was one of those times.

Someone knocked on her door, and opened it. Hermione ignored the person who walked in. Her friend or acquaintance scooped her up off the bed and hugged her. She cried into a shoulder.

"Shh, Hermione, we all miss him," came the deep, soothing voice.

"Merlin, if only he could come back," Hermione choked out.

"This is war, Hermione. It's a terrible, terrible thing. But we need to just all buck up and move on. We have to in order to defeat Voldemort. Ron would want that."

Hermione pulled back to really look at Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who had lost almost everything and everyone really dear to him, the one who had had to move on all his life.

"I'll try, Harry. For your sake and Ron's sake." She sniffed, and Harry smiled. He wiped away a tear on her cheek.

"Come on, Hermione, let's try and get Ginny out. I'm afraid she's going to die in there."

"Me too. Mrs. Weasley would die if Ginny did of her own accord."

Harry nodded and the two best friends stood up. Hermione smiled.

"Harry, thanks for coming. I did need some kind of comfort."

Harry smiled and squeezed her hand.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Harry and Hermione had successfully blasted Ginny's door and had repealed all the jinxes and curses blocking the entrance, and had dragged Ginny out, with the help of magic, down the stairs and to the kitchen, where they Apparated to Grimmauld Place to get away from all the other Weasleys, and she sobbed and blubbered nonsense before finally composing herself enough to say she'd try to live without Ron. Harry and Hermione had hugged her, and promised to help her as much as they could.

When Malfoy arrived, Harry and Hermione were talking quietly at the kitchen table as Ginny ate, and all three looked startled by his arrival. Draco looked stiff and his face stoic as always as he eyed all three of them. It was evident that all three had been crying at some point. It was quiet, and he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry for Weasley's death. It's very unfortunate," he said slowly, and Harry nodded slowly, not sure what to make of his sympathy.

"It is. Thank you for your condolences. Why are you here?"

Draco held up a folded piece of parchment.

"I've got news for Mr. Weasley," he said in a more confident voice, "Do you know where I can find him?"

"I'm not sure he's in a position to deal with these things right now. I'll take the message for him," Harry said, getting up. Draco looked a bit uncomfortable, but nodded and followed Harry out.

Once the men were gone, Ginny and Hermione were silent for awhile. "So much has happened, Hermione," Ginny said softly, her voice sounding a bit nasally. Hermione nodded in agreement.

"It's still amazing to me that we have four casualties. Three in a span of two battles."

"Merlin, Hermione, it's devastating!" Ginny broke out, and began sobbing all over again.

"Oh Ginny, stop! Stop! Nothing can bring him back now," Hermione said, tears seeping into her eyes as well.

"I wish I had a Time-Turner or something, anything that could bring him back!"

"Oh Ginny," Hermione said, embracing her best friend. "I wish I could do that too. Life without Ron is going to be so difficult." Ginny let out a loud sob.

The two best friends cried again together, their backs to the kitchen door, and didn't hear when the two men walked in. Harry cleared his throat after standing there uncomfortably for a little while, and Hermione turned quickly and saw the two blokes. She sniffed and turned her back on them again, doing well to wipe her face.

"Ginny," she said softly, and Ginny wiped her face as well.

"I'm sorry," Draco murmured, and Harry sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

"You should probably just go," he said, and Draco nodded back before Disapparating. Harry sat with the girls again.

"Crying isn't going to bring them back, you know, so stop it. Buck up, girls."

Hermione nodded in agreement, wiping a sudden fallen tear. "Harry's right. We just need to…to move on."

Ginny's face suddenly reddened, and she turned on them. "Move on?! I can't just _move on_! You never knew him since birth, you were never as close to him as I was after being his sister for all my life! How can I move on after all the time I spent with him and yelling at him and playing with him and teasing him and looking up to him! I loved my brother too much to just move on!" she cried, and another round of sobs started.

"Shh, Ginny, shh. We'll get through this together, Gin, don't cry anymore. Shh," Hermione whispered as she rubbed her back, and Harry put an arm around her. The three sat like that for awhile, just comforting each other as best they could.

Anthony Goldstein suddenly came in once all the tears had gone, and he looked solemn.

"Ron's not coming back," he said quietly, and Ginny nodded, sniffing.

"I know, I know."

"I…I'm sorry that he died. I really liked him," he said softly, and Harry nodded.

"We all really did, Anthony. Could you please go and play Wizard's Chess or something?" he asked, and Hermione noticed Anthony's dark eyes harden. He didn't say a word, but just left.

"Goodness, Harry, you're rude!" she said quietly.

"Well, I didn't mean to be! I just want us to be alone right now. I would think he have enough sense to know when not to come in when someone's in a state of mourning," Harry whispered back sharply. Hermione frowned.

"I'm all right now," Ginny said and sniffed. She stood, and her two friends stood after her. "I think I might go in for a hot bath, though," she said, and Hermione nodded.

"You should. Go on, Gin," Harry said quietly, and Hermione followed a weak Ginny go up.

Once Ginny was in the bath, Hermione went to her bedroom and lied there on her bed. Memories began stabbing her brain, and she closed her eyes. Meeting Ron on the train, Ron in the bathroom with the troll, watching Ron getting bashed by the chess queen, helping Ron with homework, being with Ron at Harry's Quidditch games, playing Wizard's Chess with Ron, arguing with Ron, watching Ron play Quidditch…the memories were coming faster now, and each stab was getting more painful…telling Ron about S.P.E.W., ignoring Ron, watching Ron fight, kissing Ron, hugging Ron, writing to Ron, yelling at Ron, loving Ron like a brother, laughing, crying, joking, teasing, flirting with Ron, sitting, standing, walking, running, studying with Ron, comforting Ron, Ron comforting her, Ron hugging her, Ron talking to her, Ron stuffing his face, Ron's face turning red, Ron protecting her, Ron, Ron, Ron…

Hermione's scream was muffled by her pillow. Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron…

"_Ronald Weasley, Merlin so help me, if you don't live to see the light of day, I'm going to hex you." _

"_Merlin, 'mione! Don't you worry about me. You stay safe!" _

"_Ron Weasley, I think you've gone mad the way you seem to care more about your friends than you do yourself." _

"_Hard to imagine, hmm? I've just got loyal blood in me." _

"_What a contrast to what Malfoy thinks." _

"_That git? Who cares?" _

"_Ah, I love you, Ron! You're my best mate." _

"_You're mine too, Hermione." _

Hermione didn't know she had fallen asleep till she woke up early the next morning. The sun was just rising, and little golden specks of light were peeking into her window. She slowly got up and looked through the blinds. She saw a young Muggle bloke riding a bike, most likely to school, a cap on his head and his book bag on his back. Two young children were walking with their mother, all three having red heads, and they laughed together. Hermione pulled her blinds up to watch them better, the rising sun beginning to shine into her face. Tears filled her eyes as the small family walked out of sight, and Hermione closed her blinds again, blocking the light from entering her room. If she fought for anything, it was to preserve simple happiness like that.

Hermione walked slowly down the stairs and saw a few people eating breakfast. "I'm going to go take a walk," she said, pointing at the front door, and everyone nodded.

"Be careful, Hermione," someone called, and she nodded.

"We wouldn't want the spy to get in some how," someone else murmured, and Hermione sniffed and walked out.

It was still pretty early and bright in the cold atmosphere. It could very well start snowing any minute, really. Hermione pulled her scarf tighter around her, and let out a frosty breath. She walked for a little bit with no real destination and caught sight of a Muggle couple walking happily together, arm in arm. They were talking with smiles on their faces, and the woman suddenly laughed and grabbed onto the man's arm. The man grinned down at her and said something else, making her laugh more.

Hermione sniffed. Once the bloody war was over, perhaps she and Draco…? No, no, it was too much to even think about. The war had scarred her too much anyhow, and she wasn't happy and carefree enough to even have walks like that without being paranoid. Besides, he was a Death eater, even if he was a spy for them.

'_No more war thoughts, Hermione,'_ she thought quickly, but another voice popped up in her head.

'_The war is your life right now. How could you not think about it?' _

'_I don't need to think of it every single moment.' _

'_I think you do.'_

"Shut up!" she said harshly to herself, and realised that she was beginning to go mad, talking to herself like that.

"Goodness," Hermione breathed, and looked up into the air. It was extremely cloudy, and Hermione suddenly felt like finding a grassy place to lie and just gaze up at the clouds. She hadn't done that since she was a child. So she did.

The grass felt coarse on the back of her head, but she didn't really mind. She gazed at the sky, thinking of a million things, but at the same time, nothing at all. Clouds passed by, some looking like hearts, others like hippogriffs, some like books, others like fluffy quills, and some like a piled bunch of fluffy stuff. Many clouds passed by, and Hermione began contemplating her life.

What if life ended right now as she knew it, and she was killed by the killing curse? Moments like these were scarce, things she used to take for granted all the time. It felt nice in a way to just lie on the grass and look into the sky.

Near eight o' clock, she knew it was beginning to get busy, so she got up, making sure she wasn't seen by many people, and walked briskly back to 12 Grimmauld Place.

When she went back to headquarters, her nose and cheeks were pink from the cold, and her hair was softer and prettier because of the precipitation outside. Malfoy was there for some odd reason with the only ones who knew he was a spy for them, and he stood quickly when he saw her, as if he was going to go over to her, but he didn't. Hermione removed her scarf and coat and sniffed. The cold made her nose feel numb.

"Malfoy here was looking for you," Harry said, and Hermione looked at the subject of conversation.

"I had to speak to you privately about something," he stated in a casual voice, and she nodded.

"Okay."

He eyed her, then began walking off, and Hermione followed him upstairs and to the conference room. Once they were in there, he closed the door and suddenly grabbed her numb cheeks and kissed her.

"You're face is so cold," he murmured, and Hermione grinned.

"Does that make you want to kiss me more?"

"Mm, I always want to kiss you more."

Hermione felt a funny feeling at the pit of her stomach, and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Me too," she confessed quietly, and she felt him smirk.

"I knew it."

"Oh, shut up."

After one last kiss was placed, Hermione pulled back to look into his shining eyes. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked, but Draco didn't seem like he'd let go of her any time soon.

"Well, I was going to give you a new revised way to get into the Malfoy Manor and to get passed the wards. I looked at a lot of your question marks and tried to answer them all."

"Okay, where is it?"

"In my inner robe pocket," he replied haughtily, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Can you get it out?"

"No."

Hermione rolled here eyes again and put her hands on his chest and pulled his robe open so she could find the pocket. There were no visible pockets. "Draco..." Hermione asked, and he sighed. He said a charm and a sealed pocket suddenly appeared.

"Now that wasn't so hard to do, was it?" Hermione asked, and Draco rolled his eyes. She took the parchment out and scrutinised it carefully. Finally she folded it back up and looked up at him.

"Great, I'll take a look," she said and put it into her jeans pocket. Draco nodded and leant down without warning to kiss her again. Hermione's hands fisted his robes without her knowledge, and she unconsciously pulled him a little closer. His arms went from her waist to around her shoulder to hold her intimately, and something suddenly flashed in Hermione's mind. She began giggling and pulled back.

"What?" Draco asked, looking a bit dazed. Hermione beamed at him.

"You crave intimacy, don't you?" she said with a knowing smirk. Draco stepped away from her, frowning, and crossed his arms and looked away. Hermione laughed. "Aw, Draco Malfoy craves intimacy!"

"I do not," he huffed. Hermione just giggled again and went over to him. He pretended not to see her.

"You crave intimacy. You want affection, don't you," Hermione cooed, approaching him slowly. Draco huffed again and looked up so he wouldn't see her. Hermione suppressed another giggle and stood before him. He looked over the top of her head.

"You want me to hug you, don't you? And kiss you all the time? You just want to spend all day just holding me, and you want me to hold you. Is that right, Draco Malfoy? You crave intimacy!"

"Shut up!" Draco said, finally looking at her. "I do not!" He began to walk towards the door.

"Yes you do!" called Hermione, following him. Draco opened the door and walked out. Hermione continued to follow him.

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"I do not! Shut up!"

"Yes you do! Just admit it!"

He turned on her, his cold eyes boring into hers, challenging her. She stared right back with a smirk.

"Shut. Up," he said stiffly, and walked off. Hermione frowned. Leave it to him to ruin all the fun. Hermione took out her wand and pointed it at the wizard who was now at the stairs. "Levitate!" she said, and Draco looked surprised, then turned at her and scowled.

"Put me down!" he said, wanting to yell, but he knew people downstairs would get a hint of what was really going on. Hermione ignored him and instead took him back into the conference room and closed and locked the door after she dropped him. She put her wand away and stared him in the eye, still smirking. Draco folded his arms as Hermione went towards him.

"Just admit it, Draco Malfoy. You crave intimacy."

"I do not, Hermione Granger. Stop your accusations."

Hermione threw her arms around Draco's waist and looked up at him, smiling.

"I'm not really judging you, Malfoy. I just think it's cute."

Draco let out a sharp laugh, and looked back down at her.

"Cute? You think craving intimacy is _cute_? Only pansies crave intimacy."

Hermione knew better than to call him a pansy.

"I know you, Draco. You're not a pansy, but you sure do crave intimacy. Every time you kiss me, you always have to hold me really close, and you hug me tightly all the time, as if I'm going to disappear if you let go. You don't like talking about your past or your family because you feel like you're betraying them, and you didn't have a very happy childhood. But I know you do love talking about yourself and your own accomplishments because you want to feel loved and wanted and appreciated."

Draco's pretense was falling, but he didn't show it. Hermione could just tell by his eyes that were now avoiding hers.

"I know you, love. Don't think I meant any harm by it," she said softly. Draco turned to look at her when she called him 'love'. It sounded strange on her tongue, but at the same time it seemed so…intimate and well-used. He breathed in deeply and wrapped his arms around her. Hermione pressed her head against his chest and breathed in his faint cologne and closed her eyes. She felt Draco's head rest on her own, and she sighed. She looked up and kissed his cheek, then put her head at the crook of his neck. His nose prodded her cheekbone till she finally looked up, and he claimed her lips.

"I love you, Granger," he said softly, and she sighed.

"You only say that in the moment, Malfoy," she said softly back.

"But I do mean it."

At that, Hermione pulled back. "Do you, really?" she asked, and he smirked at her.

"Yes."

"Prove it," Hermione said with a smirk of her own.

"How? Veritiserum?"

"We don't have any to spare."

"How then?" he asked, and she grinned.

"Don't kiss me for two weeks. You can still hug me and all, but you can't kiss any part of me."

"What?! Why?" Draco asked irritably.

"Let's see how much self-control you have. Love is willing to wait instead of demanding, Draco Malfoy."

Draco frowned and crossed his arms again. "Fine. Can I just kiss you right now though? We can start later."

"One last kiss, Malfoy," she said and put her head forward with a smirk, and he rolled his eyes.

"You know what? Now I don't think I want to." He smirked as her face fell and he walked to the door. "Open the bloody door, Granger!"

"Whatever you say, Draco Malfoy!" she said airily, and put her wand on the doorknob and looked at his expectant face. When he realised she wasn't doing anything, he looked at her smirking face and frowned. She suddenly giggled and kissed him before unlocking the door and waltzing out.

"You're mad, Granger!" he yelled, and Hermione grinned.

"I just want to know the truth, Malfoy."

* * *

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! It turns out the scene I sent to the people who reviewed was a scene in the next chapter. Thanks to all of you who did review though! You all brightened my day! I'm so sorry for all you who like Ron. I personally like him myself, but it turned out this way, unfortunately. Please review this time again! I love reading what you all think of my story. Review, please! Thanks! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	9. Chapter 9

Three evenings later, on a dark Sunday night, Hermione walked downstairs to find Harry, Arthur, Kingsley, Molly, Bill, McGonagall, and Draco in the living room conversing seriously about something. Curious, she went and joined them. Harry nodded at her, but the others seemed too engrossed in their conversation to see her there.

"It's a very dangerous mission, Malfoy. There's no feasible way you can come out alive," Arthur was saying.

"It's the only way to really ensure a solid victory," Draco replied. "I could be caught any time even now, and it could all be to naught."

"You cannot risk your own life, Mr. Malfoy. How would we get any information if you died?"

"It's the only way! I don't understand why you won't let me go! We've talked about it for two weeks, and you've all agreed that it is the best way to get information!"

"Mr. Malfoy, be reasonable," McGonagall said, looking over her spectacles at him. "The information you get us may be helpful, but it may not be the key to our victory. Who knows how long it will take you? And while you do that, how will we know if the Dark Lord is not planning another attack on another Muggle neighborhood or on us? You must remember that there is still a spy among us, and that we must be cautious in everything we do."

Draco met the eyes of Bill, and before he could look away, he felt something trying to slip through the tight barriers in his mind. His face contorted in rage, and he sat furiously, keeping his eyes locked with Bill. After a moment, Bill gave up. Draco's adept skills in Occlumency did not even compare to anyone else's, but it did not go lightly with Malfoy.

"You still don't trust me?! What do I have to do to gain your trust?" He looked at everyone, but they all avoided his gaze except for McGonagall and Arthur. "None of you trust me, do you. You all think I'll turn on you and that I'll turn a traitor to all of you!" he shouted. He was furious.

"Look, Malfoy, it's just that—" Harry started, but Draco stood abruptly, cutting him off.

"No nothing, Potter! I shouldn't even be helping you if you're all going to turn on me like this! None of you trust me! And none of you ever will! I can't help people who can't bloody trust me!"

Draco stormed off, and they all looked after him, not knowing what to do. Hermione sighed. "I'll try and convince him to stay," she said, still not really knowing what was going on.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, and Hermione nodded.

"I promise I won't hurt him," she said grimly, and walked quickly after Draco. When she did reach him, he was about to Disapparate and she quickly put a hand on his arm before he could draw out his wand.

"What do you want?" he asked, harsher than he probably meant, but Hermione wasn't fazed. He was upset, and she knew it. She made sure to lock the door, then just hugged him tightly. He stiffened up automatically, but after a moment put his arms around her. They were silent for a little while, and Hermione closed her eyes briefly.

"Draco, I know it's hard to work around here, not being trusted and all, but we'll get through it. Even if they don't trust you, you're safe here, and we'll all protect you, even if we don't like it. You're important to all of us, Draco, but also I care for you a great deal, and I don't want you to leave on the account of other people," she said softly. She heard him swallow in the dead silent room and felt his lips suddenly on her hair. He seemed to remember at the last minute he couldn't kiss her, but he didn't pull back.

"You don't even know how it's like, not being trusted all the time," he whispered, and Hermione felt a tinge of pity.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could change that," she said, and he sighed. His anger was coming back again; it was emanating off him quite strongly.

"You can't change the minds of anyone that obtuse," he said coldly, and pulled back to look at her. "But you don't trust me either." It wasn't a question; he knew. Hermione swallowed.

"I'm trying to, Malfoy, really. But you can't just give up in the most crucial time of the war. We all need you."

Draco looked past her head, frowning. "Once this war is over, I'll probably go to Azkaban charged as a Death eater, and none of you will do anything to stop it. Whatever the Ministry tells you, you'll believe it. You're all just using me to get to information, but in the end, you'll leave me stranded with a Dementor's Kiss as my only friend," he said bitterly.

"Draco," Hermione said firmly, and she had to grab his face to make him look at her. "I promise you, even if everyone here deserts you after the war, I won't. If you do go to Azkaban, I'll fight for your life. I'm Hermione Granger, the best friend of Harry Potter. They'd all believe me. I'm on your side, Draco, but you have to be on mine too."

Draco turned his head so his lips would be on her palm, and she felt him press his lips together.

"Good Merlin. It's very difficult not to kiss you at all," he said grimly, and Hermione laughed.

"You're doing well, so far," she noted, and he smirked down at her.

"Would you expect anything less from a Malfoy?" he asked, and she raised her eyebrows playfully. He frowned. "Never mind, don't answer that."

She laughed again and pat his cheek before walking away. She suddenly turned around. "YOU STUPID DOLT! JUST LISTEN AND COME WITH ME!!!" she yelled. Draco looked startled, but Hermione gestured with her head at the door as she suppressed a laugh. His showed that he understood and frowned deeply, reminding Hermione of their school days.

"DO YOU THINK I WANT TO WORK WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN THERE?! THEY DON'T EVEN TRUST ME!!!" he yelled back.

"I DON'T CARE!!!"

"Granger, I'm not going to listen to what you say. I'll go back only because I know that I'm more superior than all of you bloody wizards and witches! You all need me whether you like it or not!!!" he shouted, and Hermione pressed her lips together, a silly grin on her face.

Draco smirked at her, then took in a deep breath and shot her a dark look. Hermione composed herself as well and her smile quickly changed into a glare.

She quickly unlocked the door and stormed back out to the living room where everyone was waiting, and they seemed shocked that Draco Malfoy was following her out, even with the dark look on his face.

"Good going, 'mione," Harry whispered to her when she went to stand beside him, and she expelled a breath and nodded.

"Thanks. He's so stubborn, though! It's as if he's a rock."

Unfortunately, Harry didn't hear the last part of her sentence because he was listening hard to McGonagall's apology and adding in his own commentary. Hermione sighed and watched Draco's expression. He was listening with a frown on his face, his frown deepening with each comment the others made.

"Look," he finally said sharply, and everyone turned to him. "I don't care if you all don't want it. Staying under the Dark Lord's wing is exactly what I need for this victory! I could buy you some time and at the same time get closer to the Dark Lord's inner circle so I could send you information."

"To raise ranks, he sends off his Death eaters to kill Muggles!" Harry said angrily. "How do you suppose you'll just happen to get up to his inner circle without killing anyone?"

"I'm good at sneaking around, Potter," Draco said with spite. "I haven't been caught all this time, haven't I? Staying in his quarters for the time being will be vital, and I'll have more information to gather at one time."

"And if you're caught when you send your owl to us?"

At that, Draco was silent, and Hermione felt a sense of rising panic within herself. Draco was going to stay at Voldemort's headquarters? Alone?

"How is it even dangerous?" she asked quietly, and McGonagall looked at her former student.

"Miss Granger, think about it. He is a spy, and few have their suspicions about him, especially after we captured Goyle. If he goes and stays, he'll be safe, I'm sure. What I'm worried about is his sneaking around tactic and trying to get a higher rank all of a sudden. And not only that, when he sends his owl with information to us, he could be caught and killed."

"I won't get caught," Draco interrupted firmly. Hermione looked at Draco, honey-brown eyes wide.

"None of us approve, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said sharply, but he ignored her.

"Don't you remember Luna's dream? If you are caught and you go on the run…this is exactly what she was talking about, only she was in your place, seeing it from your point of view!" Hermione suddenly spluttered out.

"Luna Lovegood is _mad_, Hermione Granger! You can't base all of your fears and doubts because of a stupid dream a loony girl had!"

Hermione stood in her ire, feeling an overwhelming sense of irritation at his stubbornness.

"YOU ARE SUCH A BLINKERED, BARMY WIZARD!!! It's a simple decision that EVERYONE has already agreed on, and YOU'RE the only one to go against it!!! AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SPY!!!!!!"

"Just because I'm the spy doesn't mean I don't only want my life to be safe all the time! I am a spy! I'm risking my life all the time! I've risked it this far, and I want the job done right."

Hermione turned her head away, trying to show him that she wasn't going to listen, and folded her arms. It made Draco angrier and he stood as well, needing to be heard.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE JOB IS MORE DANGEROUS, IT'S MORE EFFECTIVE!!!" He looked around at everyone, breathing hard in his rage. "Do you bloody dolts understand that?! If we continue on this more cautious path, it'll only get you a quarter of the information. Do you want all of it? I'M PRETTY DAMN SURE YOU DO!!!" he yelled as he slammed his hands down on the table. Hermione gazed at him in shock.

It was silent.

"Well blow me down," Bill Weasley finally said softly, and everyone slowly nodded.

"Just trust me, will you?" Draco asked stiffly. His grey eyes never left Hermione's honey brown ones, and she felt her breath catch and tears fill her eyes. Trust him?

"No," she suddenly uttered. "No, I can't! I won't!" She was shouting now. "I can't trust you!"

She turned away, choking out sobs.

"Well that's just _smashing_!" he shouted, and Hermione wiped her tears away.

"Stop being so dramatic, Malfoy!"

"Just bloody _brilliant!_ Well I don't care what you all say! I'm really leaving now. And no one will stop me this time," he said coldly, glaring pointedly at Hermione. She turned her tear-stained face at him, swallowing down the words she wanted to yell at him.

When she didn't say anything, he stormed back into the kitchen where he Disapparated back to Voldemort, and Hermione stormed off to her own room. No one knew or understood why on earth she was crying.

Hermione cried inside her room after making sure to lock the door soundly with her wand. She did care about him immensely, and if she trusted him, that could easily result in his death. There was no way she could really trust him. Hermione choked away another sob before flopping onto her bed and burying her head inside her pillow.

"Shut it!" she told herself, her voice muffled from in the pillow. She swallowed and let her tears subside before sniffing loudly and lifting her head up. "I don't care for him," she lied to herself, and frowned at her headboard. "I don't. The main point is to stop this war and for the Order to win. If that means I have to trust him, I will have to do that."

With her new resolve, Hermione went to look for Arthur. She found him in the kitchen talking to Molly, and they stopped their conversation as soon as Hermione walked in.

"Hello Hermione," they both said warmly, and Hermione smiled.

"Mr. Weasley, is there any way I can contact Malfoy? I've…I've decided that him leaving to stay under the Dark Lord would be the best in this whole war."

Arthur was surprised. "Hermione! Well, yes there is. Here."

Arthur handed her a blank sheet of parchment, and she looked at it quizzically.

"When you write on it, the message sends to Mr. Malfoy, and he feels it warm considerably wherever he has it," Arthur explained. "I am the only one with the copy."

Hermione smiled thankfully at him and took it.

"Do you happen to have a quill on you?" Hermione asked, and Arthur shook his head.

"I have one here," Molly replied, however, and handed her a bottle of ink as well. "George left them here after writing a letter to Charlie a while back."

Hermione thanked her and composed a letter to Draco.

_Malfoy,_

_You are an imbecile, but I've decided that I can trust you after all. After doing several calculations, it came out that the only possible way to really win this war is for you to risk you life, no matter how much no one wants you to. I'll be on your side for this instance, but don't see it happening again. _

_Signed, _

_Hermione Granger_

Hermione saw that Arthur wasn't looking at what she was writing, so she added at the bottom, in her code, just in case:

_I'm sorry._

After allowing the ink to sink into the parchment and disappear, she kept the parchment, waiting for his response. Instead of responding, however, he suddenly appeared within several minutes prior to her sending.

"That was quick," she stated, surprised. He nodded and looked at Arthur.

"You've reconsidered?" he asked, and Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Me? No, no. Hermione here has, I suppose."

Draco looked at her pointedly. "You trust me?"

"Not completely, yet, but enough to trust that you won't turn on us if you go and collect information like that undercover for us."

Draco's eyes shined suddenly, and he looked at her in such a way that Hermione felt that strange feeling in the pit of her belly again.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, shocking Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

Hermione only nodded at him. "You're welcome."

Draco turned to Arthur again. "I do hope you'll reconsider. Meet and call me again once you've made your final decision. And Granger, don't be wary of these fools. Make them see what can really come out of it."

He disappeared again before she could reprimand him for calling the members of the Order "fools".

"He's a fool," Hermione muttered, and Arthur looked expectantly at Hermione.

"Well, Miss Granger, convince me. Why do you trust him all of a sudden?"

"I don't. I just think that this approach to ending the war is greater and more vital than any other plan we've had before. It'll be a great ending to the war, and a very successful victory. Just think of the possibilities!"

"You seem very passionate about it," Molly said with a smile.

"I really believe in it," Hermione replied, and Molly smiled again.

"Mum!" Bill called, waltzing into the kitchen. "Fleur wants me back home for a week or so."

"Go along to her then," Molly said, attempting to keep her spirits up, and Ginny walked in after her brother, her face glum.

"Goodbye, everyone!" Bill said before disappearing.

"How he ever was even attracted to Phlegm is beside me," Ginny said darkly.

"Now, now, Ginevra Weasley, we must get along with her. She's your sister-in-law, you know. Even if she does hate…" Molly paused and wrung the rag she held tightly, "Celestina Warbeck," she finished in a controlled voice.

"Your poor Mum. To have to put up with someone who loathes her favourite singer," Hermione whispered to Ginny.

"I'd say. The things Phlegm said to Mother last Christmas about Celestina Warbeck, I would've strangled that girl, whether she be half Veela or not."

Hermione suppressed a grin, and instead looked at Arthur again. "Mr. Weasley, I also think that we're making decisions on a more personal level than a business-like level. If Malfoy stays there and is caught and dies, most of us wouldn't care except for the fact that he was our spy, but you have to remember that the Dark Lord has a spy as well, and if Malfoy stays there for a long period of time, he can catch the Dark Lord's spy, and he'll be able to send us that information. Keeping Malfoy a secret from most of the Order is not the way it should be for us, except for the fact that we have a spy amongst us. The only way we can really secure a victory over the Dark Lord is by risking the life of our willing spy."

All three Weasleys sighed in unison.

"She's right when she talks like that," Ginny grumbled, and Molly agreed as well.

"You do have a way with words, girl." Arthur said, looking at the table top. Finally, he raised his head up to Hermione. "You've convinced me. And it makes it easier for us because our spy is willing."

Hermione sucked in a deep breath. "Yes, I know. Maybe it's a little suspicious that he's so willing."

Arthur nodded again, brows furrowed in thought. "We'll talk to him tomorrow," he decided, and Hermione nodded and quickly left with Ginny.

Hermione sighed heavily. She had made the right choice, hadn't she? It was better for him to risk his life for the Order rather than for her to lose more of her friends...right?

* * *

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! this chapter is shorter than some others, but I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading! I haven't been getting as many reviews and reads as I would like, but I'll write for those who do read and review. For a review, I'll reply with a little peek at the next chapter! I love you all who review! If you don't know what to write, just tell me what you really think of this. Friendly criticism is appreciated! Thank you, and wait around for the next chapter! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione was walking towards the stairs with Ginny when she was suddenly hit with nostalgia. She was transported back to her time at Hogwarts when she was eleven, thirteen, fifteen, sixteen, when she had hated Draco Malfoy and had loved Harry and Ron as her brothers, when she had had a schoolgirl crush on Ron, when she had kissed him after he had defended S.P.E.W., and her overwhelming feeling of nostalgia made tears prickle into her eyes. She sniffed.

"I'm going to my room," Hermione said, her voice thick. She walked up the stairs closely followed by her younger friend, and Harry was walking down the hall to the kitchen, but stopped in front of Hermione's door when he saw her eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and Hermione hiccoughed.

"I don't know," she said, and Ginny sighed.

"I think she's just feeling really overwhelmed with everything."

"With this whole bloody war," Hermione said, waving her arm around.

Harry swallowed and nodded. Hermione suddenly grabbed Harry into a hug, and she buried her head into his shoulder. "I really miss Ron," she choked out, and Harry held her tight.

"We all do, Hermione," he murmured. Ginny put a hand on Hermione's back, and she pulled back to look at the red-headed girl. Ginny's eyes were filled with tears, and Hermione's heart hurt.

"I'm sorry. You were his sister. I'm sure you miss him more than I'll ever know," she said with a swipe at her tears, and Ginny just shook her head and hugged her.

"I miss Ron a lot, Hermione, but he was like your brother too. We all…all really miss him," she said slowly, and Hermione hugged the girl tightly. When they pulled back, they looked at each other.

"We have to all support each other now," Harry said in a hard voice, and Ginny hugged him.

"Stop trying to be so tough all the time, Harry Potter. I know you miss him too."

Harry put his head in the crook of Ginny's neck. "It's just something we'll have to live with and get over."

"No, Harry, it's going to scar all of us, including you. Don't be too hard on yourself. He was your best friend, and you are going to miss him," Ginny stated softly.

Hermione couldn't help but giggle. "Harry, Ginny, you're good."

The two looked up, confused. "What?"

Hermione leaned closer, a grin on her face despite her tears. "I know you're seeing each other," she whispered, and Harry and Ginny broke apart quickly.

"What?!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Does anyone else know?" Harry asked, and Ginny gaped at him and slapped his arm. Harry looked at her in surprise. "What? She's our best friend. I trust her."

"Thanks, Harry," Hermione said, suppressing a giggle. "But no one else knows. I'm pretty sure, at least. I knew when you were comforting her four days ago. There was a little more there than just friendship, I could tell, especially when you made Anthony leave. I know Ginny doesn't like him all that much, although I don't know why."

Ginny laughed suddenly. "Since when did you get so perceptive Hermione?" she asked with a giggle, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Since the war started. But you two are very subtle. I wouldn't have even noticed if it weren't for that day."

"Just don't tell anyone else, please Hermione?" Harry asked quietly, and Hermione grinned.

"Okay Harry, but just because you trust me. Kind of."

Ginny hugged her hard. "Merlin Hermione, you are the best friend anyone could ever have."

Harry laughed. "And the swottiest too!"

Hermione grinned. "Thanks. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Yes, we do," Ginny said, leaving Hermione for Harry. "And Hermione, if you ever find someone for yourself, even in this damned war, be sure to let us know first!"

Hermione flashed a forced smile. "Well, I'd feel too guilty to fancy anyone right now."

"Oh, Hermione, when you find your own bloke, you won't be guilty, trust me."

Ginny grinned at Harry and kissed his cheek. He just smiled, and Hermione sighed. "I wish Ron were still here."

"I wish Ron were still here too."

Hermione sniffed. "I…I really loved Ron," she said sadly, and Ginny laughed, a bitter-sweet sound.

"I knew it!"

"Time's just too short to waste on fancying someone from afar," Harry said quietly, and Hermione swallowed and nodded.

"Too bad I was too much of a cad to admit that," she said bitterly, then sighed and shook her head. "That was in the past, though. I'm going into my room now."

Hermione sniffed again and stepped through the doorway and closed her door. She went and flopped onto her bed with a groan.

"I'm tired of life," she said glumly.

* * *

Hermione had awoken very suddenly that evening. Luna hadn't had one of her crazy nightmares for quite a while, but something had woken Hermione up. Groaning, she threw off her covers and got up, pulling on a robe over her pyjamas. She walked quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen where she made herself a cup of tea since there was no butterbeer. If someone else decided to come and saw her standing there by herself, she knew she'd be questioned endlessly, so she made herself and her cup of tea invisible before sitting tiredly into a chair in the corner of the kitchen.

Once Hermione had finished her tea, she cleaned it and put it back into the cabinet and was walking back when she saw a flash of Anthony Goldstein rush down the stairs quietly. Curious, she decided to follow the bloke. He led her unknowingly to the kitchen where he quickly looked around him cautiously and reached into the cabinet and pulled out something invisible from an unused box. He whispered a spell and a thick letter suddenly appeared into his hands. He quickly looked around again and put the letter into his pocket before rushing out and back up the stairs. Hermione was beginning to get a bad feeling about Goldstein.

Hermione followed Anthony back to his room where he double-locked the door and looked around again before taking out his owl from its cage. The snow-white owl blinked at him and stuck out one of its feet. Anthony reached back into his pocket and gave the owl the letter, and the owl immediately flew off his arm and soared soundlessly into the night. Anthony looked after it with relief as the owl flew west, then shut the window before unlocking his door and jumping into bed.

Hermione was flabbergasted. She had to do something and quick to intercept the damn owl and find out what Goldstein had sent, and to whom.

She decided to scare Goldstein, and furrowed her brows, concentrating on a non-verbal spell, and his window suddenly shattered. Anthony looked at the window in horror, then glanced around. He jumped out of bed and went to the window, looked out, then opened his bedroom door immediately and ran out. Hermione quickly followed him out and instead of following him all the way, she burst into Harry's bedroom. He was sleeping soundly until Hermione began shaking him violently. He awoke with a start, and his green eyes widened when she made herself visible. She was in panic.

"Harry! Anthony Goldstein sent out a letter via owl, and you need to fly off and intercept the bloody owl before it gets to its owner! It was flying west! Come on Harry! Do you hear me?"

Harry quickly grabbed his glasses and put them on before blinking at her. "West? Owl?"

"Yes! With a thick letter! Hurry!"

Harry nodded, rubbing his eyes clean of sleep, then grabbed his broom from under his bed and went immediately to his window. Hermione opened the large window for him and looked at him worriedly.

"Be careful, Harry!"

He only nodded at her before soaring off into the night, looking for the owl.

Hermione stayed at the window, looking into the moon-lit sky. Thankfully, it was clear, and she watched, waiting in panic. After only seven minutes passed, she saw Harry Potter speeding back, a snow-white owl in his grasp.

Harry came back, his face pained. The owl was pecking the daylights out of him and was refusing to let go of the bloody letter. Harry rode his broom through the window, then jumped off and onto his bedroom floor. Hermione quickly took hold of the deranged bird and Harry pulled the owl's talons away till the letter finally fell to the floor. Hermione put the screeching owl into Harry's empty bird cage, the one that had used to hold Hedwig, and Harry quickly picked up the thick letter.

"Lock the door, Hermione," he said sharply, and Hermione quickly complied and went to join Harry. He had unsealed the letter and was now reading it avidly through. Hermione watched as his eyes narrowed, then widened.

He looked up at Hermione, his green orbs hard, handed her the letter, and walked briskly out of the room. Hermione's eyes scanned the letter.

_Sir:_

_The information you wanted is as follows: Harry Potter and his crew seek to destroy you still, and wait for whatever attacks you have. They always seem to be one step ahead of you, my lord, although I don't exactly know why. Perhaps it is because Potter is the chosen one? Anyhow, Hermione Granger seems to be the pride of it all, and my private suggestion of disposing of Ronald Weasley, the blood-traitor, was an excellent idea. They all mourn for him and are in no shape whatsoever to be even fit for battle. Now it is only the matter of surprising them with another attack. I promise you what happened last time will not happen again. I've done all my calculations, my lord, and I am certain that you will reign once again, and Potter will be dead at your feet. I am certain. Included are the parchments I have collected, and all the notes I have taken. While I was going around one night, I found a parchment, notes taken to get passed the wards of the Malfoy Manor. I took a copy of it and have included it. I have also included my theory of how to enter the Orders' headquarters. And the dolts, I am sure, know nothing of my work with you. I am safe and so is all the information I send to you. They know nothing of me. _

_Your loyal servant,_

_Goldstein_

Hermione's mouth dropped open. Anthony Goldstein was the spy?! The man who did practically nothing, the man who Ginny disliked, the man who _killed Ron_?!

Hermione made sure that Harry's broom was put away, and she hid the letter in her pocket when Harry walked in with Arthur and Kingsley.

"Show him the letter, Hermione. Show it to him!" Harry exclaimed, his words sounding angry and bitter. Hermione complied immediately, too shocked to speak. Arthur scanned the letter, and handed it to Kingsley who did the same. Arthur shut his eyes, weary.

"Goldstein. Who found this out?"

"Hermione did."

Arthur turned to her. "Hermione?"

"I was downstairs getting a cup of tea when I saw Anthony walking down hurriedly. He grabbed the letter from the kitchen and ran back upstairs with his owl in tow and sent it off. The barmy owl is in the cage right there."

In fact, Anthony's owl had quieted and was staring at them with beady eyes, looking ready to attack. Hermione swallowed, feeling overwhelming hatred for the traitor, Goldstein, and was at the point that she'd jump at him if he came in.

"We need to alert everyone in here now and capture the bloody bloke," Harry growled, and Kingsley nodded.

"Before he gets any more information to his Dark Lord," Kingsley said, and the three men went out. Hermione went and sat on Harry's bed slowly. She took in a few deep breaths.

"Anthony. Goldstein. Killed. Ron," she said to herself slowly. "Anthony is the reason for…Ron's death." Hermione sucked in another deep breath and let it out slowly before going out and following the three wizards that had just left. She saw them talk to Anthony for a moment before Harry whipped out his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" he yelled, and Goldstein's mouth opened in surprise as his wand flew into Harry's waiting hand. "Petrificus Totalus!"

Anthony fell stiff and immobile on the floor. Hermione covered her face, feeling tears come, and she sniffed, rage pouring through her. She opened her eyes and saw Anthony lying there inert on the floor, and she went to him in a blind rage and began pounding at his chest.

"You killed Ronald! He was my friend, you bloody dolt! Did you think we wouldn't get you?!" she screamed at him, and Anthony's eyes widened in pain. Hermione continued bashing at him until all three men could finally get control of her. She continued screaming unmentionables at him, hysterical with grief and anger.

Several people came running, and their eyes widened when they saw Anthony Goldstein lying on the floor, stunned. Kingsley now hoisted Anthony up and carried him to the attic, the only unoccupied room that was saved for questioning. Harry held Hermione till she stopped screaming and writhing and instead collapsed against him, sobbing for all she was worth and blubbering nonsense.

"Ron" was the only word Harry managed to understand, and he tried to soothe the distraught girl.

"Shh, Hermione. He can't come back. At least we caught Goldstein, right?"

"I'm going to pitch him as soon as I see him!" Hermione wailed out, and Harry couldn't help but chuckle.

"You do that, 'mione."

"He deserves to be sent to Azkaban forever," Hermione said, her sobs slowly subsiding, and they stayed quiet in the corridor for a little while, embracing each other tightly.

Finally, Hermione pulled back and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry for sobbing all over you," she said, and Harry just smiled.

"Anytime, 'mione. You know I'm always here for you."

"Yeah. And I'm here for you. Oh, Harry! Your hands!"

His large hands were scratched deeply from wrestling the letter from Goldstein's owl, and blood was seeping out of his wounds.

Hermione quickly took out her wand and healed the scratches and cleaned his hands neatly.

"It was only a few scratches. Come on, 'mione. Let's see what happened to that no good bloke."

Hermione nodded and walked with Harry up the stairs to the attic. The door was sealed shut, and she knew they shouldn't disturb.

"Go to bed, Hermione. I'll tell you what happens in the morning."

Hermione just nodded and walked back to her room without a fight. She was exhausted.

* * *

Hermione tossed and turned for an hour in her bed, till she finally tossed off her covers for the second time that night and went to her desk and began writing. She wrote nearly two pages full of the code Draco had made up for them, and put it in a concealed envelope for safe-keeping, adding them with dozens of other notes. Finally, Hermione felt so distraught, she decided that she had to go see what was going on with Goldstein.

She padded up to the attic bare-footed, making sure she had her wand in her pocket. She knocked quietly on the attic door once she got there, and when Harry opened it, he seemed surprised to see her, but he allowed her entrance all the same.

Hermione entered quietly and saw the room was very bright, surprisingly. Goldstein looked very laid-back, and Hermione saw the vial of Veritaserum half-drunk on a table near Kingsley Shacklebolt. Arthur was on the sideline, watching Anthony Goldstein with cautious eyes, his arms folded defensively. Harry pulled out a chair quietly for Hermione and she sat with him, watching the interrogation as well.

"When did you become a spy for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"During the battle at Hogwarts. It was evident, after the Order lost, that the Dark Lord was going to win, so I went to him and begged to be taken in, and in the chaos of the war, no one really noticed. And besides, I was always unimportant anyway."

"What about Terry, and Michael?" Hermione suddenly asked, and she saw Anthony's eyes flicker. His confident pretense fell slightly.

"They can suit themselves. Michael would understand."

"Perhaps," Kingsley said, a bit ruffled at being interrupted. "Now, continuing on, why did you become a spy for He-Who-Must-Not-Be—"

"I became a spy," Anthony interrupted, his golden eyes hard again, "Because of Potter over there, and Ginny Weasley."

Hermione looked at Harry, surprised. He just looked darkly at Goldstein, his arms folded like Mr. Weasley.

"Pray tell," Arthur spoke up, and everyone's eyes fell onto the black-haired, golden-eyed boy.

"Potter always came in first, whether it was in Quidditch, for the house cup, for everything. Even if he didn't do anything right and broke all the rules, he was still perfect and everyone hailed him just because he was the bloody chosen one. I just thought it was unfair how he got all the glory while we _normal_ students that were smarter and followed all the rules didn't get any applause or recognition at all.

"We all always had to be behind Harry Potter, the chosen one. And I got sick of it, especially during Dumbledore's Army. Oh sure, it was fun and really helpful, but after Umbridge punished us all for Potter's 'club', I was sick of it. He got all the glory for instigating the whole damn thing and for teaching everyone and no one else actually in the Dumbledore's Army got any credit for really being in it, except for the fact that we got punished. It was simply unfair. I only joined the reincarnated one because Michael talked me into it, but I couldn't stay, even for my friends."

Anthony took in a deep breath, his eyes on the floor now, and he looked too engrossed in his story to stop, so everyone stayed silent.

"And of course, Ginny Weasley. She started it all, really. When she started dating Michael after the Yule Ball, all he would talk about was her. Ginny this, Ginny that, and it got tiring. I made friends with the witch, and she was fun to be around, until she became a Potter idolizer. Then I began talking to her at a minimum and I ignored her a lot. All she would talk about was Potter, Quidditch, or Michael. And after they broke up, all she would spew out to me was about Harry Potter did this, Potter did that, and it all became rubbish to me. And I got so angry at her that I yelled at her finally, telling her to shut her fucking mouth and to tell it to someone who cared. I got a kick out of that, but I think she began hating me. And I began to hate Potter's guts after that, really.

"Once the war started, I did calculations in my head like all Ravenclaws usually do, and after several weeks of many, many calculations, I decided that it wasn't probable in any way that Harry Potter would really win. So, being as competitive as I am, I couldn't be on the losing side. So you could say it was a mixture of immense hatred and pride that made me become a spy."

Anthony finally looked up at Kingsley, and his eyes widened when he realised what he had just said out loud.

"That damn Veritaserum makes me spew out more than I mean to!" Anthony shouted, standing up in anger. Arthur, Kingsley, and Harry both stood with him, whipping out their wands and pointing it at him.

"You will stay seated, Mr. Goldstein," Arthur said calmly, and Anthony glared at them all as he sat down slowly.

"You'll all pay for this. You killed off Goyle, and now you'll kill off me, but you won't ever know who else is a spy for the Dark Lord."

Anthony's lip curled wickedly.

"Who else is a spy for the Dark Lord?" Kingsley asked urgently.

"I honestly don't know," Anthony said, shrugging.

"You will tell us now or suffer the consequences," Harry said, standing and going to Anthony in a rush. He grabbed his robes roughly, but Anthony looked unfazed.

"I don't know, Potter," he spat. "The Dark Lord has his own secrets of the sort to keep to himself."

"Harry, please sit," Arthur said slowly, and Harry obeyed, not taking his eyes off the scoffing Goldstein.

"Oh, so _he_ gets a 'please'. Oh, right, I forgot, he's the chosen one! How could I forget!"

"Harry, please escort Miss Granger out," Kingsley said coldly, staring at Anthony, and Harry complied.

"They're going to torture me for information I don't have, Hermione. Feel terrible for me," Anthony called, and Hermione couldn't meet his eyes as she stood and walked out. She stopped at the door, still looking down at the ground, and faced Harry.

"I can walk myself out, thanks," she said, and Harry nodded and closed the door after her. After that, Hermione rushed back to her room and climbed into her bed, her eyes wet from unshed tears. She buried her head into her pillow and let out a sob. "What is this world coming to?"

* * *

The next day, everyone was informed that Anthony Goldstein was the spy for the Dark Lord. Michael and Terry took it the hardest.

"How could Anthony even do something like this? Betray us all, and all his friends," Terry said, his blue eyes flashing in anger. He ran a hand through his short brown hair. "I just want to hit him right now!"

Michael just stayed quiet, and Hermione felt bad for the bloke. Anthony had been his good friend, and he had been betrayed.

When Malfoy came by, Harry told him of the whole ordeal, and he was shocked as well. He went to go speak to Kingsley and Arthur about something, and as he was walking, hidden from the eyes of the others, he and Hermione ended up walking towards each other in the same corridor. He nodded at her.

"Granger."

"Malfoy," she greeted, and he pulled something out of his inner robe pocket.

"I've got something for you," he replied, and pulled out a large envelope full of folded parchments. Hermione beamed.

"You really did it?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Why wouldn't I? Here, take it."

Hermione quickly obeyed and put it in her own pocket. "Wait here," she said and quickly rushed to her room. She reached into her drawer and pulled out the envelope she had been keeping, and flew down the stairs back to her beau.

"Here," she breathlessly stated, and he took it, putting it into his seemingly favourite pocket.

"I'll take a look at it," he said, trying not to smile. Hermione smiled for the both of them.

"Likewise."

They nodded at each other, and Draco brushed her hand as they passed each other, leaving Hermione with a tingling feeling. She forced herself not to look back at him, but just kept walking forward, still smiling like a silly girl. Even in all this chaos, he was still always able to make her feel so giddy with the simplest touch.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thank you all for reading and for your past reviews! It really lightens my heart and really encourages me to write more! Please review, and tell me honestly what you think of this chapter. Constructive criticism and opinions are appreciated. Thanks again, and please review! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	11. Chapter 11

_Hermione,_

_It's going to be a stretch for me to start writing letters to each other, even in code and all. I don't know what else to say, so I'll leave you here. _

_-Draco_

_

* * *

_

_Dear Draco,_

_This writing thing I think is going to be a wonderful start for us to start really getting to know each other without anyone else finding out. I've got to go, so I'll write more later. _

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_

* * *

_

_Hermione,_

_Look, love, I did mean it when I said I loved you, but please, don't take it too hard. I'll be alright if you don't love me back now, or ever, but just give me a chance. I hate to sound like I'm begging, but if that's what it takes. _

_Love,_

_Draco_

_

* * *

_

_Draco,_

_Today seems so memorable because of Ron's death. He was my best friend. You probably don't care as much, but I feel terrible about it. I want to find who killed him and promptly murder them. Perhaps torture them a bit before putting them out of their misery. _

_I'm sorry, I tend to be a bit histrionic when I'm angry. Don't think less of me because of it. It's just the truth._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_

* * *

_

_Hermione,_

_I probably won't be around as often as I wish now. The Dark Lord is just telling us more than enough crap to overwhelm our brains, so I've got work to do. And no, it is not killing Muggles. Well, not for me at least. I can't wait till this war is over. I've got to go. Be bloody thankful I find time to write these letters, or notes, rather. _

_-Draco_

_

* * *

_

_Dear Draco,_

_I cannot sleep. Anthony Goldstein was found a spy for the Dark Lord. I'm afraid of the world right now, and I'm afraid for you. Be safe, Draco. Take care of yourself._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

_

* * *

_

_Hermione,_

_This war is getting deeper and darker than ever, and I'm beginning to be afraid for my life. But I will do whatever it takes to bring the Dark Lord down. I'll be a cad no longer. But I just want you to know, I'll always love you. Be careful during these times now that it's getting worse, and I'll take care of myself as well. I do love you._

_Love,_

_Draco_

_

* * *

_

"Hermione!" Arthur called, and she poked her head out of her room.

"Yes?" she asked, and Arthur gestured for her to come into the conference room. She complied, making sure to shut her door tight, and followed Mr. Weasley into the silent conference room, or not so silent anymore. Draco and Harry were arguing loudly about something while McGonagall and Kingsley looked on, attempting to make sense of all this.

"Ah, Miss Granger," Kingsley said with a look of slight relief. "Perhaps you can tell us why you propose we do send Mr. Malfoy?"

Harry turned furious eyes to Hermione. "Did you really agree to send this bloke over? Permanently?"

"Yes, Harry, I did." Hermione did not like how he was looking at her. "And you know why? Because I trust he won't turn over to the Dark Lord and forget all his morals and responsibilities to us. I trust that he'll be careful."

"Miss Granger, it sounds like you don't care for him at all," McGonagall had to say. Everyone looked at her, surprised. "It is one thing for Mr. Malfoy to go and change over, but it is quite another if he gets captured by the Dark Lord. We all know Mr. Malfoy won't abandon us by betraying us as well, but we don't know what will happen to him if he does go. He may very well be killed."

"I tell you all, you underestimate my abilities! I'm adept enough in Occlumency and I can turn myself invisible to sneak around enough! You all underestimate me too much!"

"It's best to think of the worst! If we only think of what good could come out of it, what if it doesn't happen and you're not as skilled as you think?!"

"I have confidence in Malfoy," Hermione stated loudly, quickly silencing Harry.

"What?!" he yelled, and Hermione locked eyes with him coolly.

"Harry, it'll be best for all of us."

He was about to open up his mouth to retort, when Arthur's surprising comment shut him up again.

"I agree."

Harry's mouth shut immediately, and he stared, bug-eyed, at Mr. Weasley.

"Excuse me?" McGonagall said, and Arthur just stared at Malfoy.

"We need to send him off to secure our victory. If he dies, he dies. We will be without a spy, but if he sends his information to us, we'll be successful nonetheless. If not, we'll die, but it's a chance we must take."

Draco looked relieved, but Hermione caught a flicker of another emotion scatter across his face briefly. "That's exactly what I've been trying to say for the past few weeks!" he said loudly, and Harry threw his hands up in the air.

"Fine! If that's how you want to do it! Who bloody cares about Draco Malfoy's life! I sure don't!"

Harry stormed out, and McGonagall took off her spectacles, sighing. Kingsley stood.

"I should be going now. I have a meeting soon." He looked at Arthur squarely in the eyes. "I trust your decision, Mr. Weasley. I have fair faith in you and Harry Potter that you both won't let us down."

"I think you all have too much faith in these children. Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, and Mr. Potter are only 17. They cannot make decisions this enormous by themselves," McGonagall said, and Kingsley nodded.

"But that's why I'm here, Professor McGonagall. To guide them. That's why you're here as well, to guide them," Arthur retorted calmly, and McGonagall sighed again, putting her spectacles in her pocket and meeting Arthur's eyes.

"I do not agree with what you are agreeing to, and I will take no part in it. You may do as you wish, but do not count on me to support you."

With that, she stood and left with Kingsley. Arthur sighed. "Draco, you might as well stay here. This discussion is obviously far from over."

Arthur sighed again and left, and Draco barreled out, not even acknowledging Hermione once. His expression was cold, and Hermione didn't even want to know why. Or perhaps, she already knew.

_

* * *

_

_Dear Draco,_

_I just want you to know, I do care for you. Don't mistaken that, but I'll do what is best for the Order first. It's something we'll both have to sacrifice. I'm sorry if it sounds too harsh, but it's the truth. _

_Love, _

_Hermione_

* * *

It was nearly evening, and the dispute was still heavy as ever. Arthur, Hermione, and Draco were still butting heads with the equally stubborn Harry and McGonagall. Kingsley would have nothing of it, and instead hid away from them at the Ministry. Late that night, Hermione wanted to go to bed, but since Malfoy had stormed off awhile ago and was now most likely sulking somewhere, she had to help Arthur stand strong. She knew, because Harry was against it, that he would break faster than she.

At eleven-thirty, a water-break was called. Their throats were parched from yelling at each other so much. It was mostly just she and Harry doing most of the yelling. He didn't trust Malfoy, but she did, for the most part. McGonagall was there gently easing in the fact that he could die, but it seemed to be the last thought on the stubborn minds of both the young witch and wizard.

Hermione ventured out to the kitchen and opened the cooler and took out a mug of butterbeer. 'Bless Mrs. Weasley for restocking it full,' Hermione thought to herself as she warmed the drink. She took a sip and sighed happily before drinking it again. She suddenly heard a strange noise and started in fright. She whipped out her wand and carefully put her mug on the counter before venturing out to where she had heard the noise. Draco was in the living room leaning his head against the couch as he sat on the floor with his hands covering his face. Two bottles of Firewhiskey were next to him, one already empty. He let out another moan.

"Draco?" she murmured cautiously, "Are you okay?"

She sat next to him and looked at him for a little bit. Finally, he removed his hands but looked away from her quickly and tried to stand. He was unsteady on his feet and swiped at the full Firewhiskey bottle.

"Draco!" Hermione said softly and grabbed his arm. He looked at her, his eyes hard and angry and sad all at the same time. It was quite overwhelming.

"What?" he snapped.

"Sit," she retorted, and pulled him down onto the couch. He shook his head and dropped the bottle which thankfully didn't break on the carpeted floor. "What is wrong with you?" she asked worriedly.

"Nothing," he said, and hiccoughed. He looked like he had been crying, and it alarmed Hermione a bit.

"It doesn't like nothing to me!"

He turned on her. "Why do you care?" His harsh words were slurring a bit.

"I do care, Draco."

He just snorted. "You wouldn't care if I died!"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Yes I would!"

"Nobody cares if I die," he moaned, and Hermione stifled a laugh. He was being so melodramatic!

"Aw, I would care," she said sweetly, but he ignored her again.

"Everyone agrees with me because they just want the information. I'm going to die there, I know it, and nobody will care because they'll have the information they need! But nobody knows that I want to die. It's better than staying here all alone and uncared for."

Hermione felt pity for the insecure and hopeless man in front of her. He wanted to die because he felt like nobody cared, not even her.

"Aw, Draco," she cooed, and tried to hug him, but he pushed her away.

"Don't pity me!" he shouted as tears seeped out of his eyes. Seeing him cry was something Hermione never wanted to ever see again. He looked so pitiful and hopeless and vulnerable, and he covered his face to salvage the little dignity he had left.

"Oh Draco." Hermione made to hug him again, and this time he was too busy covering his face to push her away. They stayed like that for a little while, in a comforting silence. Finally, he dropped his head onto her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, finally allowing Hermione to hold him. She did so for another long moment, trying not to cry herself.

He finally sniffed loudly and pushed her away, struggling to get up again. "No, Malfoy, stay here," she said softly, and he obeyed with a swipe at his traitorous eyes. Hermione quickly went to the kitchen and made two cups of tea and quickly checked the cabinets for any potions to lessen his inebriated state. She found it, thankfully, and quickly poured it into his cup before going back to him.

"Thank you," he muttered when she handed him his cup, and she nodded before taking a sip out of her mug in silence.

He begrudgingly drank the tea, making a face when he burned his tongue, and sighing in relief when the potion finally went to his head. He tinged pink, Hermione noticed, when he remembered everything he had said, and quickly drank some more.

"Better?" she asked, and he gave her a single shouldered shrug.

"I was all right before."

Hermione just nodded slowly and sipped more tea. It was quiet again, when he sighed.

"Look, I was drunk, okay? Nothing I said before is true. I was just…pissed."

"Just on a bottle of Firewhiskey, hmm? Why did you get drunk anyway?"

Draco frowned. "I felt like it."

"Not because you were hurt?"

"No," came his immediate answer, and Hermione just nodded again, and silence ensued. Draco finally got up, uncomfortable with the silence, but Hermione grabbed his pant leg, and he looked down at her.

"Draco, I'm sorry you felt that way. I didn't mean to sound so cold by ignoring the fact that you could die there, but I was just…" She paused, looking for the mot juste, and Draco cleared his throat.

"Not caring?" he offered, and she shook her head.

"No, no. I…I guess I just wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

Draco just looked up with a sigh before pulling his leg away and walking slowly to the kitchen. Hermione looked after him, wondering how else she could make it up to him.

* * *

Back in the conference room, the argument was diminishing a bit. McGonagall had gone to bed, putting her final faith in Harry, and Harry was alone. Slowly, he was losing his passionate argument. It had become rather dull, arguing about this same thing, one against three. Finally, Harry threw his hands up in the air.

"Fine! Do whatever you want! I'm done with this! Send Malfoy on this mission! I don't care anymore!"

He left with a huff, and Hermione shrunk into her seat, exhausted and numb, but satisfied. Arthur stood in shock for a moment, then went over to Draco and shook his hand with a nod.

"Congratulations, Mr. Malfoy, you got your way. And I suppose you'll have to prepare everything soon?"

"Yes, I'll meet with you tomorrow to discuss it all."

Arthur nodded. "Very well then. I look forward to it. Now get some sleep."

Draco just nodded and watched Arthur leave. Hermione got up and walked towards him to give him her own congratulations. She kissed him on the cheek and smiled.

"You did get your way. Not that you really should be surprised, hmm?"

Draco just smiled. "Is this week of no kissing off then?"

"I suppose," Hermione sighed, but proceeded to forget her next sentence as he kissed her.

"Draco," she finally murmured, trying to speak despite his lips, "you have to be careful."

"I will be. Whatever happens I'll just be bringing it upon myself." He kissed her again and again. "Don't worry about me."

"Malfoy," Hermione said exasperatedly, and pushed him away. "How can you tell me not to worry about you? I care for you a great deal, and I'm not just about to throw my affections for you all out the window if you die!"

"What makes you think I'll die?" he asked coldly, and Hermione scoffed and crossed her arms.

"Well, let's see. You're going to be under the Dark Lord's thumb 24/7, you'll be sending out an owl to us, from there, you're a spy and people have their traitorous intuitions about you. Oh, that's not a lot to worry about at all!"

Draco sighed. "Don't worry about it. It'll come when it comes. Whatever happens, happens, Hermione, and you can't change it. Don't over-analyse everything."

He took her back into his arms and she huffed against his chest. "I could try to change it," she muttered, and she could feel a deep rumble of laughter in his chest.

"You could try, but you won't succeed. It'll just be a waste of time. I'll be fine."

"Hmph," Hermione replied, and pushed him away again. "I'm knackered, and I'm going to sleep. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Draco nodded and kissed her again before watching her set off to her bedroom. He sighed. He was so head-over-heels for that witch, it would be hard to leave. Only Merlin knew that only she could heal his heart. He wouldn't be able to live if he never saw her again.

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was awkward and silent. Harry sat silently in his seat, giving everyone the pretense of indifference, but Hermione knew better. She knew he was angry that he didn't get his way, even if he was supposed to be "the Chosen One".

'Sometimes, even the Chosen One doesn't know the right way,' Hermione thought stubbornly as she fiercely bit into her toast. Draco had surprisingly joined them for breakfast that morning, but was eating somewhere in the kitchen alone so that those who didn't know he was a spy wouldn't see him.

Hermione, driven by an unknown force, perhaps compassion, got up and took her breakfast. Molly looked at her questioningly.

"I'm going to eat in the kitchen," she said with a sweet smile, and the ones who knew of the spy shared a look of understanding with her before tucking into their breakfast once again.

She pushed her way carefully through the door of the kitchen and saw Draco eating at the counter alone. He looked surprised to see her.

"Why hullo there," Hermione said with a smile, and he smiled back.

"Morning. Fancy seeing you here."

Both were acting as if nothing had happened last night. Hermione just sat next to him and began eating again. She felt him plant a kiss on her temple before eating as well, and she felt unexplainable butterflies in her stomach. She looked at him for a moment. Even eating he looked majestic, the way his jaw moved when he chewed, his grey eyes focused on his food while in thought, and he occasionally brushing his blonde bangs out of his eyes; he was beyond attractive. He met her eyes with his fork midway to his mouth, and he gave her a questioning look before taking another bite. Hermione just sighed and continued eating her breakfast.

She heard him sigh this time and sit back in his chair, looking at his breakfast.

"What?" she asked, and he looked at her.

"Why can't we have something a little more exotic? I'm tired of tea and butterbeer and toast all the time. I'd like some good wine and Italian food right now."

Hermione scoffed. "Wine at this hour?"

"Why not?"

"Well, Malfoy, epicures like you probably don't understand how _normal_ people like us live, but we like to conserve out money for rainy days."

It was Draco's turn to scoff. "Rainy days?"

"Yes, Draco, as in, when we actually make money, we like to save it for more important times."

"I know what that means," he muttered, and Hermione stifled a giggle as she took another bite of her breakfast. It was a warm pastry-like thing, with cool jam filling the inside of a warm, soft bread. He looked at it in curiosity. "Is that what they had out there? Looks much better than my French toast."

Hermione smiled. "Would you like to try a bit?" she asked as she held out her fork to him. He took her hand and guided it to his mouth, taking a forkful of the delicious pastry. While he chewed thoughtfully, he locked eyes with Hermione. She couldn't seem to look away.

Finally, he swallowed and kissed her knuckles and her lips before letting her hand go. "Not bad," was all he said, and ripped off a piece of his toast and handed it to her. "Here. A piece for a piece?"

Hermione laughed. "You're being quite a gentleman."

"Why thank you. I like to think of myself as one."

"Well, continue thinking that to yourself," she teased, and opened her mouth. He popped in the piece of bread quickly, and she smiled as she chewed. "Thank you."

"Didn't your Muggle mother tell you it's rude to speak with your mouth full?" Draco said, raising a brow, and Hermione just smiled.

"Merlin, I'm going to miss you," she said softly after she swallowed, and hugged him.

"I'm going to miss you too," he replied with a sigh after he kissed her forehead, and they were silent for awhile, a subtle but painful reminder of the night before.

Hermione finally pulled back, not wanting to remember anymore, and finished her breakfast in silence. It tasted cold now.

Draco finally cleared his throat and opened his mouth, ready to speak, when he suddenly put his hand to his chest and pulled out a folded piece of parchment inside his inner pocket. He read it and sighed.

"What's it say?" Hermione asked curiously. He handed it to her, and Hermione quickly read the words, _Meet at conference room now. Coast is clear_, as the ink began fading away. He took back the parchment slowly.

"I'll be going now," he said softly, and Hermione sniffed, the reality of the situation finally hitting her. She quickly pulled him back to her and kissed him fervently, clutching him tightly and unwilling to let go. He tried to pull back, but she only gripped him fiercer and he finally let her intensify the kiss for a little while before he finally pulled back successfully.

"I've got to go," he said mournfully, and Hermione's eyes filled with tears and she looked down at the ground.

"Okay," she said softly, and he lifted her chin up and kissed her once more before leaving the kitchen. She looked after him long after the kitchen door had closed. Even if he was just going to a meeting, it would only be a few days, two weeks at the most, till he would be leaving her, perhaps for good.

* * *

**Author's Note: this was such a mellow chapter...but i kind of like it too. it's slow, mellow, but cute in some parts. don't worry, there'll be some more of my (and hopefully, your) favourite pairing! please review and tell me what you think and tell me what you think is going to happen next...and i'd like to reply back with a peek at the next chapter, but the next chapter is just too important to give away. i'm sorry about that...but just remember, it's going to be a happy ending. i promise! you'll understand in the next chapter or two...haha so i'll leave you in suspense for now. thanks for reading, and please review! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	12. Chapter 12

It was the eve of his departure. Harry had gotten over himself in the week or two they had spent planning, and was giving Malfoy a few last words. Draco gave back the magical parchment Mr. Weasley had given him, just in case he was caught, and it was then that Hermione had to leave before she started to cry.

Tomorrow would be the last day he'd come here before leaving permanently.

Hermione was tired of crying, though. She'd been doing it for awhile now, since the decision was made, and she didn't know if she could bear the fact that he was leaving. Perhaps siding with him to end the war sooner wasn't the best idea. _Oh stop being so selfish!_ she chided herself, _You know you couldn't be together anyway. You knew it was going to end someday. It was all too good to be true. Besides, it's still forbidden, whether you like it or not!_

But she just couldn't convince herself. Her selfishness won over her morals, and she wanted him to stay even if it meant the war would last forever. Was that love?

Harry's hand on her arm brought her out of her reverie, and she glanced at him, her eyes swollen from crying so much. She hadn't even heard him come in.

"You alright 'mione?" he asked softly, and Hermione just sniffed in response.

"Yes. I'm not sure why I'm getting so weepy," she said, forcing a chuckle. It convinced Harry, and he smiled.

"I guess everyone is just getting emotional these days."

"Yeah," she replied softly, looking out the window of her room.

"Well, it's high tea. Come down soon."

Hermione nodded, and as Harry walked away, she blurted out the question that was burning on her tongue. "Is _he_ coming?"

Harry stopped and looked at her in a little confusion for a moment, then furrowed his brows in understanding. "I think so. He might stay, but he'll eat in the kitchen again."

Hermione nodded again and looked back out the window at the afternoon sun. In a moment, she was rereading the notes Draco had written her. It was the first of many, many times she'd do this.

A few minutes later, she sighed heavily, bored and a bit hungry, and got up and went down to the kitchen where most of the Order members sat. George, looking melancholy, spontaneously hugged her before going up to his room. Dreariness seemed to drip off his very being, and Hermione was worried. He was still an absolute mess over the death of his two brothers, though he didn't show it as much. Oh George…

Hermione watched Angelina Johnson look over her shoulder at the single twin, then abandoned her breakfast to go after him.

Hermione sighed, thinking wistfully of too many things as she collected her plate and food articles before drifting off into the kitchen to be with Draco again. He looked up from his food, pleasantly surprised again, and smiled.

"Hello, love," he said, passing her temple this time and going straight for her lips. Hermione smiled weakly before sitting down to eat.

They were silent for a little while, till Draco cleared his throat. "Anything wrong?"

Hermione just shook her head curtly, intently focused on eating her food.

"You don't seem alright," he observed, and Hermione just sniffed.

They were quiet for a moment, Hermione just poking at her food while Draco stared at her, waiting for a response.

Hermione finally dropped her fork and looked at him. "You're not coming back tomorrow."

Draco opened his mouth, thought better of it, and closed it again. "You're right, I'm not."

"Why?"

"Hermione, you know why. Don't pretend to be ignorant of it."

She was silent at that. What could she say? I love you, don't go?

That thought jolted Hermione's brain. _I love you, don't go?_

"Granger? You alright?"

Hermione looked at him, her eyes wide with her new revelation. "Draco, I…"

"Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley called as she popped her head in. The two looked at the witch. "Can you come out here, please?"

Hermione cast a glance on Draco before sliding off her stool and going to Mrs. Weasley. _I love you, don't go._

"I'm going to go shopping for gifts, so I want you to clear the table and all for me. Will you do that?"

"Oh yes, of course," Hermione replied as her body ran on autopilot. "But gifts for what?"

Mrs. Weasley looked at her as if she had gone mad. "For what? For Christmas of course! It's the day after tomorrow! We only haven't gotten the tree because of our situation, you see. But Arthur promised the war to be over soon, and I believe him. Call Ginny, will you? Have her help you, dear. I'll be back soon!"

Molly left, leaving Hermione alone in a daze. Christmas was here already? And so soon!

Her body ran on autopilot again as she stacked up the dishes and levitated them to the kitchen. She let the dishes pile into the sink and cast the cleaning charm on them so they would wash themselves, and turned just to see Draco standing right in front of her.

"Hey, I was calling you! Didn't you hear me?"

Hermione just stared at him and blurted out the only coherent thought in her mind. "It's Christmas Eve tomorrow."

"Yes, it is. What of it?"

"You're leaving on Christmas Eve. You won't be here for Christmas. I haven't gotten you a gift! Good Merlin!" Hermione exclaimed, and tried to rush past him, but he grabbed her arms, keeping her in her place.

"What's wrong with you? Have you gone mad?"

"I need to get gifts! It's Christmas! Oh Draco, you're going to leave me!" Hermione cried and threw herself at the confused wizard. He kissed her head and quietly tried to soothe her, but she finally lifted her head indignantly.

"I need to go," she said quietly, but he didn't let go of her.

"What's wrong with you? Tell me."

"Nothing!"

"You're lying."

"I—"

"You don't want me to go, don't you? You want me to stay here with you!"

She was silent.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"How would you know?" she replied softly and tentatively. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"Because…that's how I feel too."

Hermione looked up at that, gasping. "Really?"

Draco sighed and looked out the kitchen window. "Yes. But I know that, as much as I love you and I want to stay here with you, this war needs to end now. Too many lives are being lost."

"Draco, I want you to stay," Hermione pleaded. "I was wrong to side with you. I trust you, but I—"

"Hermione!" Harry called, bursting through. He saw Draco holding Hermione, and he scowled. "Malfoy, get your hands off her."

Draco dropped his arms and looked back at his girl. _His_ girl.

"Hermione, come quick! George is going mad!"

Hermione rushed passed Draco, forgetting the confession she had just been about to make. "What?!"

"Hurry!"

Harry led Hermione quickly up the stairs to George's room where he held the newly-arrived Percy in a headlock.

"You were there when Fred died and you didn't even come back to us! You ran away again! You're a bloody coward! A pussy! A pansy! You don't even deserve to be called our brother, you pathetic little—"

"George!" Angelina was yelling and grabbing on his arm. Lee was doing the same on his other side, but neither were really succeeding.

"George Weasley!" Hermione yelled. "What the heck are you doing?"

"—you no-good-dirty—"

"George!" Charlie yelled, attempting to get Percy free. Molly and Arthur came running at the scene, and managed to get the two brothers apart.

"George Weasley! I am ashamed of you! To beat your brother like that is absolutely wrong!" Molly scolded, and George glowered at her, silent.

Percy rubbed his sore neck, but for once in his life knew not to reprimand his younger brother.

"George, don't blame him," Angelina said coolly. "It's not his fault Fred died."

"But he didn't come back to the family at all. Not to tell us, not to talk, not to bond, not for anything. And I blame him for that."

No one could argue with him there.

"Percy, let's get you some soup. You must be starving," Molly said softly, and Hermione nodded and quickly disappeared into the kitchen where Draco sat at the counter, tapping his thumbs together.

"Draco, Percy's coming. You'd better go."

Draco sighed, nodded and withdrew his wand. In a moment of impetuousness, Hermione grabbed onto his arm just as he Disapparated.

They appeared in a grassy moor, and Draco looked at her in shock.

"Why did you grab onto my arm? You're lucky you weren't splinched! I could have been going back to the Manor!"

Hermione just smiled at him. "I remember awhile back you said that you always go into an empty field before Apparating to Grimmauld Place or the Malfoy Manor."

"You remember that still?"

"I do," Hermione replied, beaming. Draco just let out a chuckle, and put his arm around her.

"At least here I can hold you and no one can rebuke us about it."

Hermione swallowed and just nodded, leaning into him. She suddenly sighed heavily and moved to stand in front of him after a short silence.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered, and he smiled softly at her. He took her hands in his and rested his forehead atop hers, still holding her hands close to his chest.

"I don't want to go either. I'm sure nobody wants to send me, for all different reasons," he whispered back, and Hermione closed her eyes, clasping her fingers around his a little tighter.

One of his hands let go of hers to cup her left cheek, his thumb stroking her scar lightly. "Look at me," he whispered almost inaudibly, and she opened her honey-brown eyes to see his orbs of a molten grey gazing at her softly.

He sighed, and Hermione closed her mouth, still gazing deeply into his eyes. They gazed at each other for a long time, his hand still resting on her cheek and unconsciously stroking the scar on her cheekbone, their hands still clasped tightly together.

"Merlin, I love you," he suddenly moaned softly, and kissed her. Hermione was a little surprised by how ardent he was, and put forth all her passion as well. At that, he swept her up into his arms and held her so close she felt as if she was at the brink of being smothered, but at the moment, being kissed senselessly was worth it.

A long moment later, Hermione found herself on the ground, staring up at Draco, as he blocked the slowly setting sun from her eyes. He leant down to kiss her again, and she indulged with the passion of a woman who very little time left.

When they finally pulled apart, he snuggled his head into the crook of her neck, and breathed her in. Hermione closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and sighed, making him shiver. He pulled back with wet, grey eyes, and just looked at her again. He touched noses with her and closed his eyes when his forehead met hers again. Hermione wanted badly to ask him what the matter was, but the silence was just too poignant to be broken with words. He was breathing heavily, his eyes still closed, and Hermione tentatively touched his face, then caressed his cheek when he leant into her hand.

Draco finally opened his eyes. He seemed to suddenly remember himself, and he stood up and held out a hand to help her up as well. Hermione accepted it, and their gazes locked for a long time.

Finally, Hermione looked down at her shoes and sighed. She looked back at him, but didn't bother to force a reassuring smile.

"I'm going back to see if the coast is clear," she said, and he nodded, still mesmerised by her eyes.

"Be back soon," he murmured, and Hermione laughed suddenly, despite the depressed feeling that was pulsing through her. He looked a bit startled.

"I will," she said, feeling the overwhelming amount of despair take over her. She wanted nothing but to be in his arms right now, but she Disapparated instead.

Hermione arrived in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and blinked. Hannah started at Hermione's arrival, and Mr. Weasley looked up from the _Evening Prophet_. Seamus and Dean looked up from the game they were playing, and Percy sat with Ginny at the end of the table, sulking.

"Hermione, where have you been?" Arthur asked sternly, and she just sighed.

"Out, contemplating life," she replied in a melancholy tone. Everyone was startled by her odd answer, and was stunned in silence as she Disapparated again on the spot.

She arrived at the moor she had imagined, where Draco was standing with his hands deep in the pockets of his trousers as he stared toward the setting sun, his back to her. Hermione, in a moment of sudden recklessness, stalked behind him and suddenly leapt onto his back.

Draco staggered forward, automatically putting his hands behind to steady her. Hermione put her arms around his neck, rested her head on his shoulder, and smiled at him when he turned his head around to look at the load on his back.

"Hullo," she said, and he chuckled in disbelief before looking back at the sun. "Where are we, anyway? How come it's not snowing here?" Hermione asked softly, and he chuckled again.

"I thought that would be the first question you'd ask. We're not in England anymore, love. We're in the Americas."

"The United States?!"

"Mhm."

"We're so far away!"

"Yes, I know. Nice, isn't it? To get away from it all for just a little while."

Hermione sighed. "Yes, it is nice."

They were silent for a little longer, then Draco dropped Hermione back onto her feet. With a sound kiss, he smiled at her and brushed a curl away from her face just as the wind began to pick up.

"I've got to go back, now. I can't stay here anymore. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise."

"Don't break your promise," Hermione said firmly, and he chuckled.

"I won't. I don't break the few promises I do make."

Hermione sighed and kissed him again before waving at him and Disapparating back to Grimmauld Place. At her arrival, she got a bowl of soup and sat with Percy and Ginny, sipping a little out of her bowl and lazily watching Seamus and Dean's game with a bit of disinterest. There was too much on her mind to really pay attention to one thing except for one thought. _I didn't get to tell him I love him._

* * *

**Author's Note: thanks for reading! please review! this is a bit of a depressing chapter, and when I read it, I get this bittersweet feeling. I hope you aren't too depressed by this chapter...but tell me what you think about it. thanks for reading! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	13. Chapter 13

"Malfoy's leaving permanently today," Harry said over a cup of tea. Hermione blew on her tea before drinking the liquid.

"Yes, I know," she replied indifferently as she warmed her hands on the cup. "I think I'll see him out."

Harry nodded. "You do that. Give him your last words and advice and see if he has any more information to give us before severing contact with us for good."

"Only for a little while," Hermione corrected him, and Harry just nodded again.

The two friends sat in the kitchen waiting for Malfoy to finish finalising the plans with Arthur Weasley so they could see him off. Hermione's cup was nearly cold now, though the cup stayed warm thanks to the warming charm she had on it. She needed it; her hands were ice-cold at the moment.

"Hermione, you alright? What's on your mind?"

Hermione just swallowed. Of all the things that she had lost so far, including Luna and Ronald, letting Draco Malfoy go would be the hardest. She loved him more than just a good friend. She really loved him. She had to see him off to tell him that much.

"…okay?"

Hermione looked up at her companion. "Hmm?"

"I asked if you were okay. You seem really lost."

"No. I'm fine."

"You're lying to me."

Hermione shook her head, her insides too numb to really feel the guilt of lying to her best friend.

"Is it still snowing outside?" she asked softly instead, and she heard Harry sigh.

"It stopped. Hermione, tell me—"

Harry cut himself off when Draco walked in, and he stood. Draco looked majestic in the way he held himself up.

"I'll be going now," he said stiffly. Hermione stood as well.

"Good luck, Malfoy. Don't get killed," Harry said as he shook Malfoy's hand.

"I'm going to see you off," Hermione put in, and the two wizards looked at her.

"Yes, she wanted to see you off," Harry said slowly, and Draco nodded, eyes still locked with her.

"Alright then," he finally said, and held his arm out to her. "Come along then."

Hermione took his arm, but Harry quickly put in his two cents. "Don't forget to go out the back way, Malfoy. Be careful. And don't get spotted."

Draco ignored Harry's request as he Disapparated with Hermione. They arrived in the Forbidden Forest. A small light shined through the dense trees, illuminating the spot where the two lovers stood, and Hermione was reminded when she first had come to search for the Dark Lord's spy. The forest didn't seem so frightening now, even with a Death eater holding tightly onto her arm.

Draco let go of her and moved to stand in front of her. They looked at each other for a while, till Arthur and Kingsley suddenly appeared next to them.

"I thought you'd be here. We're just here to watch over you, Hermione, and we'll take you back."

"I could Apparate back myself just fine," Hermione replied softly, still eyeing Draco. "Do you mind if we have a moment alone?"

Arthur and Kingsley looked at each other before nodding and walking a short distance away, their backs turned to them.

"Well, goodbye Granger," Malfoy said with the wind whipping his short white-blonde hair around. Hermione pulled her cloak around her tighter.

"Goodbye. Be safe."

He nodded at her. "I will be. Good luck with the rest of your life," he replied in his debonair voice.

"Draco," Hermione breathed, tired of how this goodbye was going.

"Hmm?" he inquired, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm going to miss you. A lot. Come back into my life soon," she said softly, and Draco stiffened, but his grey eyes bored into her, shining, and he smirked softly.

"I will."

"Promise me," Hermione begged, her pride be damned. Draco hesitated, but locked eyes with her, his jaw set.

"I can't promise you, Hermione, but I can try."

Hermione couldn't help herself. If they were found out, so be it. This last contact with him was going to have to last her for a while. She stepped forward in the deep December snow and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, breathing rapid frosty breaths, her eyes still dry.

"Draco…I love you, really," she whispered, knowing that it could be the first and last time she'd ever tell him. She felt him relax into her and hug her even tighter.

"Good Merlin, Hermione, do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?" he breathed into her ear after a moment, and Hermione smiled and pulled back.

"I do. I tried to tell you yesterday, but things got in the way. But Draco, I didn't want to say it until I could really, truly mean it. And I do. I love you, Draco Malfoy, whether you're supposed to be my enemy or not."

He smiled brightly at her, and Hermione couldn't help but smile back. He leant in and kissed her nose.

"Hermione Granger, I love _you_ no matter what."

Her smile widened and she kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.

"Come back soon," she whispered into his ear when they broke apart, and he tightened his arms around her.

"I'll try," he replied, then let go of her and stepped back. "Goodbye, Hermione Granger. I love you."

"I love you too, Draco Malfoy. Merry Christmas."

He smiled comfortingly at her and cupped her cheek with his hand, stroking the scar on her cheekbone tenderly as he always did before taking in a deep breath and finally turning around, his feet crunching in the snow as he walked off. He disappeared without a backwards glance.

Hermione felt her heart sink when his cloaked form disappeared, and the belated tears began to come into her eyes.

She turned around slowly, followed by Arthur and Kingsley, and Apparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place to await his arrival that would never come.

* * *

**Author's Note: like i promised before, it'll end happily, so bear with me through this depressing stage! i hate sad endings just as much as the next person. the next chapter will definitely be posted before New Year's! Merry Christmas everyone! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


	14. Three years later

The war had ended three years ago, and the last Hermione had heard two years prior was that everyone was doing fine. Luna had been admitted into St. Mungo's where she'd be given the proper medication and attention that she needed. Harry and Ginny were happily married, and Katie and Justin were engaged. Neville had finally gotten over Luna and had proposed to Hannah Abbott, a pairing she hadn't quite seen coming, and George had gotten over both Fred and Ron's death and had finally married Angelina, a wedding Hermione had purposefully missed. Seamus, Dean, Terry, Michael, and all the others had found girlfriends of their own. Everyone had been adjusting slowly after the war, all except her.

Hermione sat on her bed at midnight under the dim light of her old lamp as she had done for years, tears streaming down her face. She held a weathered, old letter written in a complicated code in her shaking hands, and was reading it diligently, tears falling onto the already stained paper. It read:

_Hermione, _

_If you have received this, my death has probably already been confirmed. I'm sorry for leaving you, but you have to know I wanted to leave quickly for your sake more than mine, and I wanted to fight for what you really loved and for what you and I wanted. Now look here, I want you to forget about me. Don't think about me, don't live in the past. I don't want that for you. Burn this letter as soon as you read it. Hermione, I just want you to be happy. So burn this letter and forget about me. You are a wonderful and beautiful girl with so much potential. Don't let my death slow you down. I know you can do it. _

_Love last,  
Draco Malfoy_

"HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT YOU, YOU STUPID TOSSER?!!!" she screamed, and smothered her face with a pillow. The letter dropped to the floor, but she didn't bother picking it up. She curled up into a ball and wept for everything; for his death, for her lost love, for her life that she had thrown away once she had received this letter.

Hermione Granger was pathetic. She lived for nothing and for no one. Her life had resulted into nothing after Draco had died. For a year, she got a job at the push of her friends, and she went there robotically every day and read different letters from Draco every night. Then, a year passed, and she had shut herself out from the world completely, her only tie still being a part of the Ministry. She continued to work, but was even more robotic. Her loss took a toll on her, and she couldn't live with it. So she didn't live at all. It was as if she were nothing but a walking, working, weeping carcass.

A knock on her door startled her. It was midnight; who would be at _her_ door in the middle of the night? In fact, who would be at her door at all? Perhaps Mrs. Jones from across the hall asking for sugar again at odd hours of the night. Making sure all traces of her tears were gone, she walked to the front door of her flat in bare feet and carefully opened the door. She peeked out, and gaped.

For a moment, she was at a loss for words.

"Wha…What the hell are you doing here?!" she gasped when she found her tongue again, and the man outside shifted his feet, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Can I come in?"

Hermione slammed the door shut, took in a deep breath to calm herself, then opened the door again. "F-Fine."

The man nodded and walked in slowly. He pulled off his black hood, revealing messy, white-blonde hair, hair she had missed running her fingers through, stroking, and touching. He turned to look at her with his grey eyes, eyes she hadn't seen in three long years. His weary body still stood strong, although thinner than she remembered, but his face was tired and he looked as if he had aged years and years.

She had to make sure he was real.

When she went to him, his hands were more callused, his lips chapped, his face rougher, but he was still there, in her flat, all in one piece, safe and sound, and obviously not dead.

After several intimate, desperate kisses, she clung to him tightly, afraid to let go, and buried her face into his shoulder, sobbing. He was holding her tight as well, his own head buried in the crook of her neck.

"Merlin, Hermione, you don't know how much I missed you," he breathed raggedly, and Hermione pulled back, tears still dripping down her face.

"YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!" she yelled, pushing his shoulder away. "YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD AND NOW YOU'RE HERE IN MY FLAT TELLING ME THAT YOU MISSED ME?!!! I MISSED YOU MORE BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY WEREN'T, BUT I WAS HERE ALL THE TIME AND YOU STILL KNEW I WAS ALIVE!!!"

"Hermione! Calm down!"

She was hysterical, and she knew it, but this was all just way too much to handle.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!! I SPENT THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE WISHING YOU WERE STILL ALIVE WHEN YOU _WERE_, AND I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE WISHING I COULD DIE AND BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE ALL ALONG!!!"

"Hermione! You didn't read anything in my letter, did you? I—"

"NOT READ ANYTHING IN YOUR LETTER?! I READ EVERY SINGLE BLOODY WORD FOR THREE BLOODY YEARS!!!" Hermione was absolutely livid.

"I told you to burn that letter! I told you to forget about me! I TOLD YOU TO MOVE ON!!!"

"I CAN'T MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU, YOU STUPID TOSSER! I LOVE YOU!!!"

Draco's breath caught in his throat, and his warm grey eyes locked with her brown ones.

"Stop yelling and just listen to me. I'll explain only if you'll cool down," he finally replied calmly.

Hermione glared at him, breathing raggedly, but couldn't turn away in fear that he would disappear and leave her all over again. Instead, she hugged him tightly again, so that if he did disappear, he would take her with him.

"Merlin, I'm knackered," Draco groaned, and Hermione pulled away, holding on tightly to his strong arm instead. She looked into his beautiful grey eyes that held a gaze that gave Hermione butterflies in the pit of her stomach, but it was one she could not explain. To say his eyes were two warm pools of grey would be much too poetic and sappy for the likes of Hermione Granger. Even to say his gaze was smoldering and held such fervent love for her would make her sick. It was an indescribable, loving look of the sort, as if he was staring deep down into her heart and imprinting himself in there.

She finished her sentimental observation and took him to the couch in her one-room flat.

"How did you find me?" she asked as they sat, then moved her hands down to one of his cold, callused ones, holding it tightly. He smiled wearily and cupped her cheek with his free hand, stroking the faded scar on her cheekbone like he had so long ago. Hermione couldn't close her eyes; she wanted to take in as much of him as she could before he went away again.

"You worked at the Ministry. I just had to go there and look up your files. It wasn't very difficult."

"Why did you say you died? Where did you go?" Hermione whispered, looking down at their hands. Malfoy sighed, moving his hand down to her warm neck. Hermione shivered at his touch.

"When I left, I knew I was going to be risking my life, and I wrote you a letter. I gave it to Mr. Weasley and told him to give it to you if I didn't come back in six months."

Hermione's tears were drying on her face as she listened to his story. It was all making a little sense.

"Arthur knew…?" she asked in disbelief. Draco smiled at her, and he slowly nodded.

"Towards the end. I don't know how he found out, but he knew somehow, and when I asked him to give you the letter, he just smiled and took it."

"He told me that you really loved me," Hermione whispered, and Draco's eyes hardened at that.

"Was the seal broken on the letter?" he demanded, and Hermione shook her head.

"No. And it was in code anyway, so how could he have read it?" Draco sighed.

"True. Well, he was the only one I could really trust, so I gave it to him. Then we said our last goodbye, and I left. I stayed in the Malfoy Manor under the Dark Lord's watchful eye for a long time, collecting my own notes and information, and when I knew I finally had enough, I sent the information to the Order twice, having a feeling that the first owl wouldn't get through. And I was right. The first owl was intercepted, and I knew I was in trouble."

"We must have gotten your second owl then…" Hermione said slowly, and Draco nodded.

"And this was the part where I knew my life would be in danger. I knew most of them had their suspicions of me, and this only confirmed it. So that night I ran off."

"You idiot!" Hermione interrupted, angry. "You shouldn't have even gone and stayed there!"

"Yes, but look at what it resulted in! The war was over in a few days."

"So? It left me alone, wasting my life away thinking you were dead! Where were you once Voldemort was defeated?"

"I was still on the run. There were still Death eaters searching for me for revenge, and I still wasn't safe. So I hid and was almost intercepted several times, but I escaped with my life and little else."

"Like Luna's dream," Hermione said slowly, and Draco closed his mouth and nodded.

"Three years later, I heard that all the Death eaters were captured and that the Ministry had slowly restored London a bit and it was safe enough for me to go back. And immediately when I did so, as tired as I was, I went back to London and to the Ministry where I looked up your files and came here."

"You…you mean you _just_ came back!?"

Draco sighed and nodded. Hermione felt overwhelmed again and had to kiss him. He groaned and tightened his hold on her.

When she pulled back, Draco sighed again.

"This is why I had to come back here first."

Hermione blushed and grinned at him, her first grin in a long time.

"I still think you're an idiot for going there in the first place. But I feel loved that you came here first. I still can't believe you're here right in front of me."

She put her hand in his hair, then traveled down to his face, feeling his facial features as if she were reading brail. She smiled.

"I promised you in my mind, Hermione, as long ago as that was, that I'd come back into your life, so you better believe it," Draco said with a smile of his own, and suddenly moved forward to envelope her in a tight hug.

"Am I dreaming? Will you go away when I wake up?" Hermione whispered hopelessly.

"No, Hermione. I'm here to stay with you," he said softly in her ear. She felt him kiss her neck and murmur something.

"What?" she asked, and he pulled back to look at her, his grey eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Marry me, Hermione."

Hermione's eyes widened, and she realised that, in the depths of her very soul, she had wanted him to ask this years ago. She suddenly laughed, unnerving Draco a bit, and just kissed him.

"Yes, Draco Malfoy, I will marry you!" she said between her short kisses. He chuckled and held her tight against him again.

Hermione rested her head on his shoulder, relishing the feeling of being in his arms again. She could live in his arms forever, and this time, there was nothing that could ever chase that thought away. This time, she could truly let herself love him and trust him, like he loved and trusted her. Forbidden? There was no such thing now.

* * *

**Author's Note: it's done! finito! thanks everyone for reading this! it's been a pleasure to write, and i hope it was a pleasure to read too!! review and tell me what you think about this, and if this ending satifies. please review and give me your thoughts on it!!! thank you! i appreciate all reviews! -LoVeDoNtHaTe**


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